Group Effort Involving a RedState Investigation of Novel Options Helping Us Neutralize Toffs (Not a Contest)

(AP Photo/Steven Senne)

Good Morning, Red State! Welcome to the new and improved political incumbent assessment, now under a duly chastened coordinator. Rather than use humorous terms that all rational adults realize are metaphors, we have dumbed this down a bit, in hopes of preventing illiterate leftists from soiling their panties. More about that further down. For now, let’s focus on the Republican, who based on reader performance evaluations (see what I did there?) might wish to consider alternative employment. This group evaluation and consensus should enable our Human Resources Department to terminate his employment, advertise his position, and begin to recruit someone more qualified, who advances the interests of Americans instead of foreign countries.

I’ve got to be frank with you folks. It was a very tough decision. The debate extended from last Saturday evening, clear through Tuesday at midnight….with one small break Sunday morning, to deal with some leftist mewling (and to sober up). Again, more on the mewling, further down.

As I said, the debate raged until two of the contest judges Human Resources Staff Evaluation Committee Members, Mr. Mayes and Mr. Blanton, ganged up on the third guy (the one wearing the skirt), Mr. Macallan, and voted 2-1 for the winning candidate. I wasn’t ever in danger of having to cast a tie-breaking vote, as fortunately, El Señor Tito, was down in Orlando doing a reconnaissance of local taverns for me to patronize during CPAC and thus was unable to participate and perhaps cause a tie.

First Place: The always exquisitely coifed, hailing from the great state of Utah (or is it from Taxachusetts and merely carpetbagging from Utah?) Willard Romney! Although Willard isn’t up for his performance review and assessment in 2022, there is no reason why we can’t keep his name in the limelight, reminding all and sundry that once his groveling had resulted in a presidential endorsement for his Senate campaign, he was quick to stick the political shiv in President Trump. In short, we’ll keep him on what’s known in HR circles as a Performance Plan.

Second Place: And it wasn’t even close folks, Representative Adam Kinzinger from Illinois, beat out 3rd and 4th place finishers by 2-1. The good news, if my spies Human Resource Candidate Recruiting and Assessment Committee Members are correct, Kinzinger already has two folks wanting to compete for his job: Gene Koprowski and Jack Lombardi. More on this in a later post where we will consider resumes, interviews and then deliver a recommendation to HR.

DeeInFL wrote a stellar analysis supporting this choice. Even if we weren’t counting noses with this effort, Kinzinger would have made the cut based on her write up alone.

Third Place, with one of the better discussions as to why he made the cut, was Fred Upton from Michigan. Make sure you have a look at that discussion.

Finally, some honorable mentions. As I’ve always said, it’s our readership that makes this site the dynamic political machine that it is.

First of all, kudos to Jwin who writes:

Great idea. Just think what we can accomplish if all 74 million people that voted for Trump knew where to send $1, $5 or $10 to where it could help

BINGO! Narrowing the focus a bit….let’s just say that 20,000 folks clicked on this piece. Assuming that the folks who spend time here would be willing to kick in $100.00, if they thought it would help advance the cause, that’s 2 Million Bucks….which is nothing to sneeze at in the world of congressional races…especially primaries. That’s a huge part of why we are here. To focus our efforts…and of course, assist Human Resource in their performance evaluations and assessments (gotta stay with the right verbiage).

What would a great contest group assessment and performance evaluation like this be, without a bit of pointed humor, especially that based on truth? With that, I give you wobegonmom who writes:

Liz Cheney is being primaried by Wyoming State Senator Anthony Bouchard. Bouchard and his wife run a septic cleaning service. I can think of no better credentials!

Priceless!

Last, but certainly not least, there is hawkeye1903 who wrote the most complete analysis on this thread. Like DeeInFL above, if we weren’t voting, his effort would have put Senator John Thune from South Dakota in First or Second Place. Nice work. That’s the kind of stuff we need for folks to see, to have at their fingertips as we go about convincing Human Resources that we need some new applicants for some of our elected positions.

That’s what we have so far gang. The Human Resources Director has asked for our continued assistance. So if you would, have a look at the remaining Performance Appraisals and please submit input in the Comments Section not later than midnight this coming Wednesday. I’ll have my Human Resources Staff Evaluation Committee Members evaluate your input and let you know which positions we’ll be looking to recruit and hire for.

As I mentioned above, many of you are well aware leftists are really not all that bright. They are all about emotion rather than cognition. Moreover, most of them have a very limited comprehension of the English language. They like to see things that aren’t there. They also have absolutely no sense of humor.

This was most evident last Saturday, when I inaugurated this contest assessment using a metaphor that every non-TDS afflicted person in the World knows, had absolutely nothing to do with promoting violence. Instead, our little bit of levity had everything to do with having a little fun at the expense of Mittens, Lizzy, and other pusillanimous poltroons still residing in the once honorable Republican Party.

Not surprisingly, the leftist publication Mediaite got a ripping case of the vapors. Their comment section was even worse, with some commenters calling for:

RATATAT:
What do you call a trump supporter in jail ?
A Rape Victim

doug:
So when Mike Ford gets shot, we can claim it was staged, and raise “campaign” money to spend on beer

Then there was part of the Cletus Jabroni crew that chimed in:

TheButthurtLocker:
Nice to see that ‘Red State’ is continuing to uphold the stereotype of its namesake: ignorant, inbred hicks who don’t deserve citizenship in our democracy

These are the type of folks conservative sites are having to deal with in order to get our message out. Rather than rail against them, I choose to use ridicule to point out their abject stupidity, while getting our point across….and of course, having fun at the same time. See you next week.

CC: Human Resource Director