God Is Real

A few weeks ago, I lost my ability to sleep unassisted. It's hard to relay what this feels like to anyone who hasn't experienced it, but I can only describe it as terrifying. Your body does things to you when you don't get good sleep. It produces cortisol, the stress hormone. You start to become afraid of bedtime because you know you'll fail. Anxiety dominates your thoughts, and you begin to lose control of your own emotions, and the exhaustion is borderline crippling. 

I'll spare you the details of my medical journey, but suffice to say that I've gotten help, sleep tests were conducted, medications administered, and now I'm just waiting to hear back about the results so we can get more permanent solutions in order. 

The point I want to bring up here is something that happened during all this terror and uncertainty. At almost every turn, Christ was giving me signs that He was with me. I prayed more than I ever had in my life, and each time, even in despair, He made it apparent I wasn't alone. I'd recount the moments, but there were so many. 

He arrested my anxiety spiral and had me remember that fear wasn't necessary. He had me. He was doing something with me, and I needed to have faith. 

And He wasn't wrong. I wasn't alone. Not only did I have Him, my family literally came to my rescue. My doctors acted swiftly. Even in my lowest moments of weakness, there was always someone there to hold me up. This was one of the darkest moments in my life, but I think when I look back on it, I'll see how it was also one of the brightest. 

God works like that. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us His power is made perfect in our weakness, and I get that now more than I ever had. 

Then, yesterday, still groggy but recovering, I watched Charlie Kirk's memorial in the living room with my family. 

There we were, watching God cover a moment of loss and mourning with so much power that it ceased being a funeral and started being a celebration, not just of Charlie, but of Christ. God was the star of the show, and His presence was so apparent that it couldn't be denied. It ended up being a moment of great healing and worship. I thought I'd never seen anything like it in my life. 

Only I had. I was going through it on a personal level. I'm not even through this tribulation yet, but I feel like the battle is already won. He already claimed the victory. He's moving, not just in my life, but so many lives that it feels like we're all part of a great remaking. 

And the misery of those who refuse Him has also become far more apparent in His healing. There have been people saying Charlie's memorial service was "indistinguishable from a Nazi rally" or trying to use "whataboutism" to cheapen it. You have elected representatives saying that Charlie's death was deserved and that he should be forgotten. 

They tried to paint what was going on as evil, but what I saw was a widow forgiving her husband's killer. I saw two old friends reconcile their differences. I saw thousands in a stadium unite in love and worship. I saw a good man joyfully celebrated. 

In the depths of all this pain, I saw joy. I experienced joy. 

How do you experience something like that and not realize that faith and fellowship with God is the ultimate goal? Not just any god, either, but THE God who sent his only Son to die on the cross for us? To not see that kind of joy through adversity is a willful act. 

God loves us so much that he's forgiven the inexcusable in us. He takes our weaknesses and makes them into strengths. He brings light to the darkest moments. He creates joy in the midst of sorrow in miraculous ways. He'll take your fears and use them to make you stronger. 

He is the ultimate goal for humanity. I think recent events have proven that. 

Loyal readers will know that I'm a big fan of proving God through science. Not long ago, I pointed out how the odds of us being alive in a universe that came about through random chance are so improbable that it's effectively impossible. 

Read: Christianity Is an Intellectual Practice

I want to throw something out there that came to me last night. 

Scientifically speaking, darkness isn't real. As physicists tell it, what we call "the dark" is really just the absence of electromagnetic radiation within a certain frequency band our eyes can see; what we call "light." Darkness is just a lack of photons in the visible range. It gives off no radiation and has no substance. 

So the dark isn't actually real in the physical sense. Light is very real. We can detect it, measure it, but interestingly, we still don't know everything about it. The mysteries around it still cause a lot of head scratching in the scientific community, even down to the nature of a photon. 

But we don't have to know it completely to see it. Light is both apparent and a mystery at the same time. We know that it adds visibility and clarity, can highlight important things, and makes the way more visible. In some cases, light adds warmth, it can help provide sustenance, and is necessary in the creation of many things that protect us. 

God is like this. Christ tells us not to be afraid because He's with us. He is the way, shows us the truth, and drives away the darkness we can sometimes become consumed by. Funny enough, when He shows up, you can see just how flimsy and false the darkness actually was. He sustains you, He strengthens you, and He guides you. 

You can't see Him in a physical sense, but you can see more through Him. 

That has become more apparent to me in the last few weeks than I think I've ever understood in my lifetime. I think many people are having this same experience as well. 

And I'm so thankful for that. 

God is real.