Behold the Most Shallow Existence Imaginable

AP Photo/John Hanna

Some of the most popular figures today are more shallow than a shower. I used to think the Kardashians ruled the roost, but even their ridiculous first-world problems pale in comparison to the king of spoiled Westerner issues: the transgender struggle.

Up until Bruce Jenner donned a wig and some implants, transgenderism was something that stayed on university campuses and only existed to a great degree on Tumblr. The backlash to anyone trying to keep society grounded in reality was swift and devastating. New York attempted to pass a law that would fine businesses thousands of dollars for misgendering someone. People were fired for tweets disagreeing with their new societal overlords, and social media companies banned those left and right for what it called “hate speech” but was really just people stating biological facts.

But it was more than just the start of the transgender blitzkrieg on our society, it was the birth of one of the most egregious victim cultures the world had ever seen.

Fast forward to today, and the undisputed ruler of the transgender victim game is actress Ellen Page, now known as “Elliot Page.” As Bonchie wrote on Tuesday, Page’s publicists hit up the Los Angeles Times to write up a story about a time when Page was assaulted for being a part of the LGBT community by a man who liked to use the term fa***t a lot and threatened to “gay bash” Page:

And yet here, downstairs at his Sunset Strip hotel, he is less than a mile from the spot where a man on the street threatened to assault him just last year. As he describes in his book, Page, who lives in New York, was standing at the corner of Sunset and La Cienega, taking a quick walk to the Pink Dot convenience store, when a stranger approached.

“I’m going to f—ing gay bash you, f—t,” the man threatened. Terrified, Page began running toward the Pink Dot, where employees ushered him inside. From the other side of the door, the man yelled: “This is why I need a gun!”

This is, in my opinion, a far worse attempt at gaining sympathy and victimhood than Jussie Smollett. I’ve never heard anyone say they’re going to “gay bash” someone else—either seriously or jokingly—in my life. It sounds like dialogue the writer of a really bad after-school show would give to the bully character.

Regardless, Page’s Smollett story made the rounds across corporate media. The ultimate goal was to sell her new book “Pageboy,” which just so happened to come out that day. It shouldn’t be lost on people that the only way Page could sell her new book was by generating a story of victimhood.

That’s what makes these people so tedious for me. Page and her like have no desire to spread or experience joy. Everything is centered around some grievous wound done to them by faceless members of a society that hates her.

Don’t get it twisted about these faceless antagonists. They aren’t just made up so that she could be a central victim in a story. They’re faceless because they’re supposed to be stand-ins for you. You who exist in this society and, according to people like Page, bear the guilt of intolerance, ignorance, and bigotry. You better repent by buying her book, listening, and believing. Oh, and don’t forget to give her power by caving to every one of her demands on society.

The sole reason for these people’s existence isn’t to experience life, help others, or just be a part of humanity, it’s to be the martyr for society. According to Page, she is suffering for your sins against modernity and as such, deserves to be on the New York Times best-seller list. Moreover, she’s like a Rosa Parks figure, subject to the bigotry of a system past its prime. When history looks back on this moment, they’ll see Page refusing to get up from her seat. She’s bravely moving forward.

She is exhausting like Meghan Markle is exhausting, like every radical feminist is exhausting, like Hillary Clinton is exhausting like Lia Thomas is exhausting, like Megan Rapinoe is exhausting, like Jussie Smollett is exhausting, like Disney is exhausting.

The most shallow existence in the world is one where victimhood becomes your brand, and the only thing you have to sell anyone is guilt. It’s a lifestyle that features hard-to-believe claims of hatred and bigotry and overblown drama that benefits no one. It makes the person who engages it a waste of space, and a black hole for joy and happiness. Everything around them that is positive gets sucked in and spit back out, as accusations and attempts at shaming others for merely living their lives.

I struggle to understand what purpose they serve in our society, other than to highlight the fact that our first world has become so comfortable that miserable people have to make up problems to justify their misery.


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