Grab Your Wife's Boobs

(Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Got her boob grabbed by her Husband? Good. AP featured image
Candace Cameron-Bure arrives at the Kids’ Choice Awards at The Forum on Saturday, March 24, 2018, in Inglewood, Calif. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

No seriously. Grab your wife’s boobs.

Our culture has descended into territory so ridiculous that it’s scary to look up and see how far off course we’ve gotten. Like a guy swimming in the surf at the beach only to look up and realize that he’s about 50 yards away from where he put his cooler and beach chairs, it’s astonishing to see how far we’ve moved away from goodness without fully knowing it.

How bad? Well, apparently touching your own wife’s body is now a horrible thing to do. According to Yahoo, Full House actress Candace Cameron Bure posted an Instagram photo of she and her husband of 24 years. The photo features the two standing on a bridge together with Bure’s husband having one arm wrapped around her and grabbing her breast.

This, for some reason, sparked controversy. Bure originally apologized for the photo but thankfully took it back:

Over the weekend, Bure shared a photo on her Instagram story of Val resting his hand on her breast — and it must have upset a lot of her 4.4 million followers. The Hallmark Channel star responded to outrage about the post she said Val approved.

“For all of you Christians that are questioning my post with my husband’s hand on my boob — my husband of 24 years — thinking it was inappropriate, it makes me laugh because it’s my husband, we have so much fun together,” she shared in a series of videos on her Instagram story. “He can touch me anytime he wants, and I hope he does. This is what a healthy, good marriage and relationship is all about.”

The 44-year-old Full House star apologized but took it back.

“I’m sorry if it offended you,” she declared, laughing, “I’m actually not sorry.”

Why is this controversial?

Some could make the argument that PDA, especially from a Christian woman like Bure, should be frowned upon and that dignity should be kept by the individual, and this display of sexual affection should not be seen by malleable minds.

I disagree.

It would be one thing if Bure’s husband was had lifted her shirt and was covering her exposed breast with his hand but he’s not. Her shirt is still on and he’s playfully placed his hand on it while she is clearly smiling very big. It’s a flirtatious moment between a husband and wife that shows even after over two decades of being married, a man and a woman can still have fun with one another in ways that would make teenagers giggle.

And we need more of that.

I feel like our culture is inundated with narratives that marriage is a next-to-impossible task you undertake with a partner that becomes an asexual roommate that is constantly grumpy and tired. Stories of married couples fighting or getting divorces constantly pepper news feeds and movies. It makes marriage seem scary, overly difficult, and not worth it.

What we don’t see enough of is exactly what Bure is displaying. A married couple having a good time, flirting, being a tad naughty, and being genuinely happy about it.

Moreover, I feel like there’s not enough boob grabbing between husbands and wives. It’s not exactly promoted in our culture. In fact, whenever popular culture has men talking about their wives, it’s usually to complain about how crazy and demanding they are. Women in pop-culture are often talking about either how dumb their husbands are, or the opposite and extreme example, how abusive they are.

The thing is, men like to grab women’s boobs and women like to have their boobs grabbed. God programmed us that way. A man feeling up his wife isn’t exactly promoted in the same way a man grabbing a girl’s boobs that he’s either dating or even just met at a bar is, and not nearly as often.

Our mainstream culture currently promotes getting felt up by a stranger and almost gives a cold shoulder to a man getting handsy with his wife.

It seems backward and judging by the effects promiscuity has on the psyche vs sex during marriage, I can only conclude that it is backward. More boob grabbing needs to occur in marriages. More than boob grabbing needs to occur during marriages and while it doesn’t need to be overtly displayed to the point of becoming pornagraphic, flirtatious pictures like the one given to us by Bure is exactly what we do need.

Boobs are amazing and they deserve to be grabbed. They deserve to be grabbed by loving husbands in a show of the bond you have, the love you share, and especially the desire he has for her. Both men and women want to feel desired, and what says that more than grabbing and allowing to be grabbed?

So go forth, husbands. Get yourself a handful as the good Lord intended. Wives, let him know you appreciate it with a big smile and maybe even a wink. Go have fun, you crazy kids.





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