The Taliban Just Tried to Kill Defense Secretary James Mattis and Failed Miserably

FILE - In this Feb. 6, 2017 file photo, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis stands outside the Pentagon. Advocates are cautiously optimistic that a new policy allowing transgender students to serve openly at military service academies will move forward on schedule, despite the Trump administration's reversal of a directive on transgender access to public school bathrooms. (AP Photo/Cliff Owen, File)

According to new reports, the Taliban attempted to kill the Patron Saint of Chaos, Defense Secretary James Mattis on Wednesday while he was in Afghanistan on an unscheduled trip, but ended up firing rockets uselessly at an airport and harming no one.

According to NBC News, Mattis was in Kabul, Afghanistan, for an unannounced visit alongside NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg. Two Taliban leaders told NBC News that they had received a tip that Mattis would be in the area, and fired six rockets into the airport that Mattis was thought to be in.

We fired six rockets and planned to hit the plane of U.S. secretary of defense and other U.S. and NATO military officials,” said one of the commanders speaking to NBC News on condition of anonymity. “We were told by our insiders that some losses were caused to their installations but we are not sure about James Mattis.”

Interestingly, ISIS also claimed responsibility for the attack, but there have been no confirmations to the truth of the claim. According to NBC News, ISIS has attempted to claim credit for Taliban attacks in the past.

Neither may want to claim credit for the attack anyway, as the intel was bad, and Mattis was already long gone when the attack occurred. NBC News reported that Mattis was already elsewhere in the capitol holding a press conference with Stoltenberg, and Afghan President Ashraf Ghan.

Luckily, no one was injured in the flubbed attack.

In the end, the failed attack delayed flights going in and out of the airport were for about two hours. Meanwhile, security forces had surrounded two nearby houses thought to be involved in the attack.

“An attack on civilian airport is sign of weakness, not of strength,” said Stoltenberg.