Ah, what would we do without the national press telling us what to think? (To answer the rhetorical, “better”.) Our wizening media betters are currently in a collective state of mourning over losing one of their cherished Iranian figureheads this week, insisting that the killing of Ali Larijani, one of Iran’s top brass, in a targeted attack, was a move that will end up costing us in the end.
There is so much comedy to be had any longer in the coverage of Epic Fury, as the media have been trying to insist we are losing this war, all while their launch strikes have been reduced to Atari Missile Command levels of might, their Navy is serving as a new artificial reef in the Gulf, and the military as a whole resembles Monty Python’s dismembered knight, capable of trash-talking, but little else.
Iran is basically set to have a Spirit Halloween banner erected over the Azadi Tower. The Cardboard Khamenei has yet to be seen in public, and the leadership losses for the country are now numbered in the Hundreds. It is to the point that Iran is combing through its Single-A minor leagues for anyone to take the helm, whoever is left and has not already beat cheeks for Europe.
With Khamenei on the DL after he was tabbed as the successor to his father, many speculated that the real leader at the time was Larijani, the brash, tough-talking bad Mullah jamma who was insisting the West would pay for this attack.
Ali Larijani's Last Gasp Lays Bare Iran's Desperation
And the press loved them some Ali. The way our journalists were swooning, you would think he was about to walk the red carpet at the Oscars last weekend. Or, become the Mayor of New York City. When he was filmed perambulating on the streets of Tehran last Friday, in bold defiance of the US-Israel threats, our media had a K-Pop level of squealing as a reaction to this public appearance.
Ali Larijani, Iran’s top national security official who is running the country, outside on a pro-government demo, despite drones and assassinations from the sky, saying Trump has underestimated the Iranian people. https://t.co/wUFzcZjCO1
— Christiane Amanpour (@amanpour) March 13, 2026
These journos knew full well that the Epic Fury effort is not targeting civilian areas, and Larijani strolling with the locals was an act of using them as human shields. But still, they tried to boast that this meant he was a bold leader whom the West feared. Then, just days later, when he was not surrounded by innocents, Larijani was cured of his oxygen addiction.
When news of his death came out on Tuesday, our press had a collective mourning session. You would think Larijani was a sainted figure who was obviously the key to ending all conflict in the Middle East, but Israel just went ahead and whacked the man who was arriving with roses and donuts at the negotiating table.
THE NEW YORK TIMES – “The kind of strong and pragmatic leader who just might be able to hammer out a peace deal. Not sure, but I wonder if the war will now be harder to end.”
CNN – “Larijani was the kind of person that had the internal ties… to become the person the United States could negotiate with when the dust settles.”
NBC NEWS – “One of the many hats worn by the pragmatist Larijani was his role as a leading negotiator tasked with finding common ground with Washington.”
CBS NEWS – “Over time, it removes one of the few insiders who could help shape a political off-ramp. Figures like Larijani are often the ones who help manage not just how wars are fought, but how they end.”
I was especially moved by those referring to Larijani as a “moderate”. What these tearful objective scribes managed to avoid in all of their wailing in print: Larijani was the moderate responsible for the killing of an estimated 35,000 Iranians since January, for daring to protest the regime. Some reports had his forces going into hospitals to finish off any survivors, and then pause for a period to rape some of the female medical staff.
This is who the press wanted us to snuggle with in peace talks. Perhaps the most oblivious example of fatuous infatuation came from veteran BBC journalist John Simpson. In a since-deleted post, John was also hailing Larijani, declaring the smoldering former leader was “clever and reasonable” and that he was the key to a peace deal. After being shamed for that obtuse post, he re-upped his opinion, and it was hardly any better.
One would think a journalist would be up to date on the positions of the man he is touting as the chief negotiator. https://t.co/4ZLaL8RDpd pic.twitter.com/NdBq5nH8Ro
— Brad Slager: CNN+ Lifetime Subscriber (@MartiniShark) March 19, 2026
One needs to really wonder what goes through the minds of some of these journalists. I mean, sure - this is mostly rooted in default Trump opposition. That much is a given. But in attempting to sell us on the opposite side, would it not help your cause to have…oh, I don’t know…something along the lines of solid facts and valid reasoning for your position?
What we see instead is flaccid insistence and little in the way of pragmatic thinking. What these hand-wringers in the press fail to absorb is that, as they light a candle to honor the loss of their revered broker, the goal is to have a new regime in place, one that will not wipe out a stadium’s worth of citizens who get mouthy. They wanted us to sit with a mass killer for a peace deal, when Iran is better off with him in pieces.
Editor's Note: The mainstream media continues to deflect, gaslight, spin, and lie about President Trump, his administration, and conservatives.
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