This Twitter bomb thread is one response to that level of idiocy.
It has been one of the more moronic comparatives to be made during the pandemic. It began with ‘’brave’’ reporter Olivia Nuzzi at the White House task force briefing, asking President Trump on Monday if he felt he should be reelected when there have been more deaths from this outbreak than in the VietNam War. That stunted line of questioning was applauded by numerous members of the press (Nuzzi dutifully retweeted the praise she was receiving) and the narrative was picked up in the press and social media.
One of the unsurprising sources of seal-clapping over this nonsensical equating of a war and the pandemic was from Never-Trump advocate Charlie Sykes and his shipmates over at their billionaire liberal-funded website The Bulwark. Writer J.V. Last jumped on Nuzzi’s boxcar in a lengthy piece and, along with dramatic graphics included, Sykes pimped out the very unserious position.
COVID-19 Is This Generation’s Vietnam – The Bulwark https://t.co/T3Pn8r7nSK
— Charlie Sykes (@SykesCharlie) April 28, 2020
With this insistence on the insipid it really only stands to reason to respond to this idiocy with mockery. So, with Sykes insisting on taking this war footing, I followed his line of unreasoning and drew up the scenario where what we are all enduring here with the pandemic is, in fact, a war.
COVID-WAR DIARY:
My recruiter never told me about the realities – of course he didn't. He made Wuhan sound like an exotic place. But before you knew it we were hunkered, but thankfully my roommate was a veteran of H1N1 – he saw the trouble coming.
1/ https://t.co/3piVVY9Dx1— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
Early into the siege the supply line were cut off. We lost Charmin Hill first, then they blocked access to Cottonelle Valley. We heard from Dollar General there could be some needed rations. They were 1-ply, but we took what we could carry
2/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
We were isolated by an offensive. One by one access routes were blockaded; beach heads, the forests, even most food supply lines. It soon became apparent this was done to make grocers intentional choke points. We had little choice; Keebler rations were needed
3/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
Even at the food depots the police state took over. Sentries deployed chemical control and access was under strict control, forcibly disengaged and directing us in one-way patterns, like a Biscotti Death March. We strove to thrive under the despotic rule.
4/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
Soon isolation was mandated. Tenuous contact with the outside world was found, seeking refuge in Zoom rooms to share our plight. Streaming only lasted so long, becoming a digital hellscape. To this day hearing two drumbeats brings a chilling Netflix flashback.
5/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
Once we tried to rejoin we meet a society that did not want us. Put off by our unkempt state – unshorn, and untended grooming. We were yelled at, told to go back home, told a desire for normalcy was a threat. We were branded with masks, pariahs in our homeland
6/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
We didn't recognize the land we had been cut off from. Authorities catalogued gatherings, and drones swept the skies for social scofflaws. Those fortunate to loot alcohol depots opened speakeasys, safe-houses for the resistance. We managed to find our own.
7/— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
It took time, but normalcy – tattered remains of it – returned. We, the Resistance find ways to recognize each other.
Those with tanned skin; the recognizable squint from peering over N95s; the ease to breech a 6' safe space. Some want us to forget; we never will.— Brad Slager: aka Wuhan Solo (@MartiniShark) April 28, 2020
Ridiculous and hyperbolic? To be sure. But that is precisely the response Captain Sykes and his merry band of ship stewards deserved. After delivering that level of flotsam punditry, they have earned the mockery.
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