Who would pay $1,000 for a plastic straw? The Brits are possibly that desperate.

As some fast food chains have taken up the cause to have plastic straws considered contraband some citizens from the British Empire are offering the desired drinking implements up for sale.

We have become fully accustomed to environmental demands leading to unintended consequences. This is frequently due to calls for action without thinking through the process that is being demanded. This has done little to stem the implementation of garbage policies as a result of demands rooted in junk science.

Over in Great Britain they have been enduring a similar activist outrage about the perceived scourge that is plastic straws that we have been witness to here in the States. Recently we saw that, for reasons few could explain, one group wants to ban plastic straws from emojis. The concern about these purportedly environment-eradicating drinking aids has crossed the polluted Atlantic Ocean, and now the Brits are absorbing a similar idiotic call for action.

Given the tendency of the English towards capitulation the screeching has led to reactions. Ahead of the state government working on a plastic straw ban the McDonalds fast food chain last summer announced it would be enforcing its own removal program of the extruded cylindrical inhalation apparatus in its British restaurants. The company decided it would be opting to replace them with paper straws in its locations.

As a result on eBay a number of auctions have sprouted up, offering what are soon to be novel standard fluid delivery tubes. One such listing has a straw offered up for the head-turning price of one thousand British pounds. This is seemingly done with intent — as part of the listing in the item description is also a plea for viewers to sign a petition to have the straws brought back into stores.

The petition currently stands with tens of thousands of signed, many expressing their dismay with attempting to consume their milkshakes with the paper replacements. The result of the switch leads to a nearly undrinkable condition, requiring either multiple paper straws or resorting to the use of a plastic spoon, which ends up using more plastic as a result. This was seen here in the states as Starbucks boldly announced it would do away with its straws, replacing them with drink lids that have a sippy cup spout using more plastic.

Yo @McDonaldsUK how I meant to drink my milkshake outta this lmao. Stop with the paper straws… pic.twitter.com/qKsH3cJ8hB

— Joe Gomez (@joegmez) April 21, 2019

But this novelty auction is hardly a lone example. Multiple listings from Britain can be found on eBay for the deposed potable devices, and some of the bulk product sales are actually receiving bids. Joining in are others who are offering what are promoted as “vintage” McDonalds straws. Many of these are still in the original printed paper wrappers from decades back.

The fervency for these straws may be rooted in a designed phenomenon. One source has claimed that, at least in Japan, the straws have been designed to replicate the sensation of breastfeeding. If true then the food chain should be raising prices on these drinks.

No matter how much the environmental efforts are to mold our existence, as Dr. Ian Malcolm taught us, Life Finds A Way.