The Essex Files: Trump’s Royal Trip Is a Masterstroke for America First While Starmer Plays Catch-Up

Peter Nicholls/Pool via AP

While the elites in Europe continue their endless hand-wringing over tariffs and transatlantic tantrums, President Donald Trump is jetting into the U.K. for a state visit that’s equal parts Windsor pomp and powerhouse deal-making. It’s the kind of spectacle that would make even Tony Stark envious – a blend of horse-drawn carriages, castle banquets, and billion-dollar tech pacts that screams "America First" on a global stage. But this is more than mere pageantry; it’s Trump reminding the world that the U.S. leads, not follows, in trade, tech, and tough alliances.

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We’ve got the details straight from the wire: Trump lands for a two-day extravaganza hosted by King Charles III at Windsor Castle, complete with the royal treatment – think glittering ceremonies and a state banquet that outshines any Hollywood gala. From there, it’s down to business with U.K. Prime Minister Keir Starmer at Chequers, hashing out everything from AI data centers to nuclear energy deals. Starmer’s camp is touting this as proof of the "strongest relationship in the world," built on 250 years of shared history and values like the rule of law and open markets. 

Trump himself called it "incredible," gushing that Windsor is "supposed to be amazing" and "very exciting." No surprise there — the man knows grandeur when he sees it, having decked out the Oval Office like a winner's lair and eyeing a White House ballroom fit for kings. But beyond the fairy-tale fluff, this visit is a win for American interests, plain and simple. With tech titans like Nvidia’s Jensen Huang and OpenAI’s Sam Altman in tow, Trump’s pushing partnerships that funnel investments into nuclear power, life sciences, and AI – sectors where U.S. innovation reigns supreme.

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Remember that May trade deal slashing tariffs on U.K. autos and aerospace? This builds on it, eyeing deals for pharma, steel, and aluminum that protect American workers while giving our closest ally a lifeline. The U.K. relies on us for 17.2 percent of its trade; we’re the big dog here, and Trump’s leveraging that to lock in advantages without bending to Brussels-style bureaucracy.


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Contrast that with Starmer’s side of the pond, where his government’s unraveling faster than a bad Brexit sequel. He’s fresh off sacking U.K. Ambassador to Washington Peter Mandelson and watching Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner bolt amid scandals and slumping polls. It’s a mess – domestic turmoil that makes the White House look like a well-oiled machine. And on the big issues? Starmer’s desperate to keep U.S. support flowing to Ukraine, even as Trump wisely downplays a Russian drone glitch over Poland as a possible "mistake" and holds off on knee-jerk sanctions. 

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Smart move — no more blank checks for endless wars while Putin smirks from Moscow. Starmer’s even floating Palestinian statehood at the U.N., a liberal pipe dream that clashes with Trump’s clear-eyed realism on Israel and global threats. Critics like Chatham House’s Leslie Vinjamuri call this a "double-edged sword" for Starmer, forcing him to play statesman alongside a U.S. president "not popular in Europe." Boo-hoo. Labour MP Liam Byrne whines about turning "paper promises into a binding bargain" to end the "tariff tempest" battering British exporters. 

Wrong! It’s exactly the pressure needed to forge real deals, not the weak-kneed giveaways of the Biden era. Trump’s not there to coddle; he’s there to command respect, blending 21st-century diplomacy with the royal flair he adores and a nod to the Queen he once praised as the "greatest woman" he’d ever met. This is how alliances endure: through strength, not supplication. Trump’s visit reaffirms that the special relationship isn’t some dusty relic, but rather a powerhouse pact where America sets the terms, boosts our economy, and stares down adversaries like Iran’s proxies or Russia’s games.

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Starmer may be scrambling to keep up, but that’s the point – follow the leader, or get left behind. As we gear up for our own 250th birthday bash, let’s tip our hats to a president who turns state visits into strategic victories. The choice couldn’t be clearer: pomp with purpose, or perpetual decline. God bless Trump, and God save Princess Kate and the kids*.


*I said what I said.

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