While you might have thought that Joe Biden illegally taking and keeping classified information for six years following his vice presidency was a scandal, CNN is here to set you straight. The legacy cable news outlet – which I’ve been assured is getting back to hard news and unbiased reporting – has a new piece out that would make Stalin proud.

In it, they lay out the case that Biden is completely innocent because his final days as vice president were a “whirlwind,” and it’s completely probable that these classified documents were just taken by accident, moved to multiple locations, including the president’s home, and kept for over half a decade.

Get a load of the picture they used. This is Pravda on steroids.

White House aides' process to pack up Biden's workspaces was muddled and hurried as he used his office until the final minutes of his vice presidency. https://t.co/mNY5tKvFun

— CNN (@CNN) January 13, 2023

Partly to wrap up his policy portfolios, partly to tout his accomplishments, and partly to occupy himself following the death of his son a year earlier, Biden thrust himself into work in a final sprint to mark what then appeared to be the end of a four-decade run at the highest levels of government.

As Biden was busy keeping busy, however, his office was shutting down. Aides scrambled to pack up his workspaces in the West Wing, the Eisenhower Executive Office Building and at his official residence, the Naval Observatory.

Those competing objectives – to use his office until the final minutes even as it was obliged to shut down – made for a muddled and hurried process that left aides packing boxes of documents and papers late into the night, even as more material kept arriving.

You have to love that framing. You silly rubes that think this classified documents thing is a big deal? You just don’t realize that Biden was so incredibly dedicated to being vice president that he was working up until the final day. That’s why those classified documents were taken completely by accident and placed in his garage and at a think-tank backed by the CCP.

Oh, it gets better, though. Did you know that this is also Donald Trump’s fault?

The looming arrival of Trump to the White House left many of Obama and Biden’s aides wary of the future and eager to cement many of their accomplishments. It was an uneasy moment, according to many who lived through it.

“It was just a really really weird time for everyone,” the source familiar said.

The steady pace of official events Biden maintained in the final days made the process of packing his office more difficult, according to former aides. Each high-profile meeting required a briefing memo – often containing classified information important for the President to know before sitting down with foreign leaders.

If it weren’t for the orange man being so darn bad, Biden and his lackeys wouldn’t have been rushing to cement their “accomplishments.” That’s how those classified documents ended up next to his Corvette.

All you can do is laugh at this stuff because it’s just so insane. The lengths to which the press will go to in order to excuse the illegal behavior of Democrats never ceases to amaze. Of course, in this case, the excuses don’t begin to add up.

For example, while we don’t know the contents of the materials found at Biden’s Delaware home, we do know that the classified documents found at the Penn Biden Center contained SCIF information. Do you know where SCIF information is stored and must be viewed? That would be inside a SCIF facility. No one just accidentally takes that type of material.

Even then, are we really to believe that those packing Biden’s things just never noticed all the classified documents laying around that were eventually taken? That belabors belief, especially since there were multiple troves in multiple locations. At some point, the “it was just a mistake” excuse crashes and burns, and we’ve passed that point. Never mind that the materials themselves, dealing with Ukraine and Iran, are specific enough to draw serious suspicions. Of all the classified materials Biden handled, those are the countries he happened to keep stuff from? Sorry, I’m not buying that’s just a coincidence.

Taking a step back, you’ve got CNN, a major news outlet, assigning reporters the task of writing thousands of words to describe how supposedly hectic Biden’s final days were, yet not a single one of them explains how the documents were actually taken and who took them. That piece was written for one reason, and that is to obfuscate the probable crimes committed, right down to using a picture of Biden crying while receiving the Medal of Freedom. It’s pathetic to watch a press outlet debase itself like that.