Joe Rogan Chars CHAZ/CHOP: 'You Guys Had Two Murders Inside of a [Bleeping] Week'

AP featured image — UFC announcer Joe Rogan is seen at the weigh in before a UFC on FOX 5 event in Seattle, Friday, Dec. 7, 2012. (AP Photo/Gregory Payan)

Joe Rogan recently served up some head-shakes for Seattle’s golden utopia, CHAZ/CHOP.

Sadly, the paradise of paradises has gone the way of the dodo bird, as announced Monday by Mayor Jenny Durkan.

“It’s time for people to go home, it is time for us to restore Cal Anderson and Capitol Hill so it can be a vibrant part of the community,” she said at a press conference.

But why? If she was gonna shut it down, what was the reason for allowing it to form?

Personally, I wanted to see the experiment continue, so those who established it could find they’d only invented America: The Prequel.

Here’s what I mean: Immediately, they had domiciles (tents), borders (barriers), government (overlord Raz Simone), and police (an armed security force).

Reportedly, they were checking people’s identity before they were allowed in.

And despite a commune-style approach, these are Americans; they only understand American ways.

How long before someone says, “Hey, this is my tent. You can’t graffiti it”? Boom — private property rights.

And if they were left to grow their own food, how long before people wanted to keep that which they grew for themselves?

Or how about this scenario: It’s determined that some citizens grow food better — or grow better food — than others; those individuals realize their food is in demand, and they trade their offerings for goods or services which they need.

Before long, you’ve got a currency system.

Take every component of their newfangled society and let it evolve; in the end, you have America again.

And you have — perhaps — a group of people who now understand why modern society exists. We got here via progress.

Of course, CHAZ couldn’t continue, because the property wasn’t theirs — they took it over like imperialists I’ve heard of before.

Perhaps they can restart somewhere else — I hear the desert’s nice this time of year. Maybe they give real autonomy a try, which never occurred despite their original jazzy acronym.

On Thursday, the great Joe Rogan had thoughts on the formerly occupied zone.

According to Joe, the revolutionaries became everything they hated:

“[T]hey decided to see change in six blocks of Seattle that had nothing to do with George Floyd. They just took over. … So they basically did what Columbus did — they came and took over an area. But then they did what Trump did — they put up a wall. And then they did what those cops did — they beat the [stew] out of people. I mean, they ruined their own idea within a couple of weeks. So it was really like Seattle just going, ‘Go ahead. Oh, you know how to do better? Oh, you’re gonna do better? Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead.'”

[LANGUAGE WARNING FOR THE VIDEOS]

It’s a great contradiction:

“They’re doing exactly the same thing they get mad at when they think about a country — they put up walls, they have borders, they have police and enforcement, they beat the [stew] out of people. There’s been murders inside. It’s not all ‘Kumbaya,’ you know? It’s like, ‘You made a [crummier], smaller version of a city.'”

One metric of crumminess: access.

“[I]t’s got borders. A regular city — you can just drive into Albuquerque. They let you in. CHAZ is like, ‘[Forget] you. We got border walls.'”

To Rogan, it was all just playing house:

“They’re LARPING. It’s Live Action Role Playing. That’s what it is.”

The comedian used the simile of a child learning to tie his shoes: A stubborn kid might wanna figure it out for himself — and his parent might give him leeway — until he realizes he needs to be taught.

That’s Seattle’s Shangri-la.

Except for the body count.