In North Carolina Friday, an 11-year-old boy showed a guy what’s what after the dude served up a home invasion.
The kid was home alone and answered the door to find a woman there. During the distraction of that event, a dude broke into the house through a window. Grabbing a pellet gun from the home, the robber forced the kid into a closet.
But the boy exited the closet and grabbed a freaking machete.
And he hacked the invader in the head.
The child got kicked in the stomach and kicked again, but he kept fighting.
Mr. Burglar grabbed a television, a PlayStation, and a few other goodies with the intention of blowin’ the joint like fast. But then he realized he was…what’s that called? Oh, yeah — BLEEDING FROM A MACHETE WOUND TO THE GOURD.
So he skedaddled, sans wares.
The genius who sneaked in through the window because he was too…
Actually, I’ll address this to him:
If your robbery partner knocks on the door and the people open it, you don’t need to then scurry through a window to gain access. You can just come in through the door, dummy. It ain’t cool like the Duke boys gettin’ in through the window of the General Lee.
Anyway, the window guy and the door girl and a third man took off in the getaway car. But the kid called 911, and police notified hospitals to be looking for a dolt who enters houses needlessly through windows sportin’ a machete-gashed noggin.
Presto — 19-year-old…I’ll leave out his name…let’s just call him Nikola Tesla…had checked into UNC Hospital in Hillsborough. He’ll be showing his head wound in court Monday, on charges of breaking and entering, 2nd-degree kidnapping, interfering with emergency communications, and assaulting a child under 12. And also: being a dipstick and getting bested by an 11-year-old.
He should hook up with this guy and form a super-crime duo.
Good job, kiddo.
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