Whoa, Nelly!

Liberals, close your ears.

Millennials, go into the other room.

Social Justice Warriors: Get on your bicycles, race to your mommy’s house for a diaper change (here and here), and plug your ears while you get powdered around your front hole.

We’re going OLD SCHOOL–

Remember when Han Solo guns were all black, with no sissy orange tip or — even worse — no black at all? Remember the days when parents could throw children in the bed of a truck and motor down the freeway without getting arrested? Remember when kids who acted up in a restaurant might get taken to the bathroom and given a little What For? El Paso’s Lisa Martinez seems to.

On October 12th…

Okay…let me see if I can give you a very concise play-by-play…

Lisa was at work when she received a call from her 14-year-old son, Aaron. He told her the WiFi wasn’t working, at which point she received a notification of the same. Due to the fact, her security cameras and door sensors were deactivated.

Fast-forward: Aaron’s friend’s mom let Lisa know he’d picked up the friend in a car. Lisa contacted her nextdoor neighbor, Liza, who’s also her daughter. Liza checked the house, and the BMW was missing.

UH-OH.

So…14-year-old Aaron had stolen the Beamer.

Lisa told Liza to grab a belt. The two met up, and Lisa’s search took her to Aaron’s girlfriend’s house. There, she found out Aaron, his friend, and a different girl were riding around.

Lisa was ON THE HUNT, boy. With the BELT.

She spotted her son, ran him down, and screamed — I mean, SCREAMED — at him to pull over. “NOW!”

HOLY SMOKES — she got out of that car with the belt, went up to Aaron’s car, opened the door, and TORE THAT BOY UP.

BOOM!

According to Liza — who was in Lisa’s car, giddily videoing the incident — Aaron got the smile wiped off his face:

“My mom said once she opened the door, he had a smirk on his face until she started spanking him.”

Spanking? Uh, no. He got a WHIPPIN’.

The video went viral courtesy of Liza’s Twitter account, garnering more than 12,000 views and almost 30,000 likes since its posting last Friday.

Unlike most wimps these days, Lisa doesn’t seem contrite. She explained the stakes of Aaron’s mischief to Inside Edition:

“It’s my son’s well-being, his livelihood, his best friend’s livelihood. Not to mention all the people on the roadways.”

Moreover, she told KFOX she’s doing her job:

“I feel that I have a debt to society. And my debt to society is to make sure that my children are productive, law-abiding citizens.”

Dang right!

As per KFOX, “As for the 14-year-old, Mom says Aaron has been grounded until further notice, possibility into the new year.” Lisa’s confiscated the little thug’s (like Obama? — here) electronics and taken the hinges off his door.

Oh my gosh — you have to see the video. She ain’t playin’. Get your popcorn and prepare to laugh.

You’re welcome. Remember what Alex Parker did for you today.

Here we go:

First stop is his gf’s house pic.twitter.com/flC3Y0KUJw

— Lizaconda♛ (@LilaaBites) October 12, 2018

She made me bring a belt to whoop his ass pic.twitter.com/kQSL8EViRL

— Lizaconda♛ (@LilaaBites) October 12, 2018

Telling my dad the tea pic.twitter.com/M1pdpX7P6h

— Lizaconda♛ (@LilaaBites) October 12, 2018

Yo, I think I heard a couple of demons come out of your mom. pic.twitter.com/QiZnoDRjrq

— 𝕷 𝖚𝖈𝖆 (@LUCA_XXIV) October 13, 2018

https://twitter.com/esegueyrayy/status/1051038796823719942

Relevant RedState links in this article: here, here, and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: Step Stupid, time for revival, and the evils of white women.

Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below. If you have an iPhone, select the box with the upward arrow at the bottom of your screen; swipe left and choose “Request Desktop Site.” You may have to do this several times before the page reloads. Scroll down to the red horizontal bar that says “Show Comments.”

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.