Are you a man who loves to figure skate? Does the Hallmark Channel bring you to tears on a regular basis? Do you have a penchant for interior decorating? Do you enjoy warm bubble baths with a nice glass of wine and scented candles, while you get “centered” to the sounds of Enya? Do you own more than one set of tweezers? Do you have an extensive shoe collection? Do you love book clubs and talking about your truth to others who relate?

If so, you may be a prime candidate for law enforcement. You’re just the guy to carry a gun and nightstick, and rid the world of bad guys as you wield respect-demanding authority.

At least, that’s the case if you live in southern Brazil.

Previously, over 70 traits were listed for would-be cops in the state of Parana. One of the requirements: masculinity. 

That one’s gone now, so shave off that goatee and take those hunting clothes back to Walmart — you won’t need ’em now to fool the higher-ups. Go back to waxing your legs, and wear capri pants to the job interview. 

Oh, and also: though it was against official regulations before, the ban has been lifted on falling in love. 

Incidentally, the list applied to both men and women, and it covered 16 different types of positions. 

If you’re wondering what officially constituted “masculinity,” here ya go:

“An individual’s capacity to remain unmoved by violent scenes, to put up with vulgarity, not to become emotional easily and not have interest in romantic episodes or love.”

Well, yeah…that kind of sounds like a man. But not YOU, you Home Shopping Network-addicted, cake-baking, sandal-wearing, dog-purse-carrying, spanks-sporting, Miata-driving flower petal. Nevertheless, WELCOME TO THE FORCE!

According to the French Press Agency (AFP), a rewriting of the requirements comes due, at least in part, to criticism from a Brazilian gay organization.

Instead of masculinity, the new rules require “endurance.” You know, like you show every Tuesday and Thursday at Jazzercise.

Now go fight oppressive male stereotypes and crime!

Thank you for reading! What do you think of this new softer, gentler approach to opposing hardened criminals? Please sound off in the Comments section below.

Please check out my other stuff, such as my articles on Cenk Uygur and ideas, Congress and nudity, and a quiet-talking coffee aficionado. 

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