As my late maternal grandfather used to say, you can teach 'em, but you can't learn 'em. That would appear to apply (again) to the state of California. You'd think they might have learned a thing or two from their "high-speed rail" debacle, but no. Now they are going in for high-speed buses, which seems like something of an oxymoron.
But yeah, now they're going for bullet buses.
With a grand high-speed rail project struggling to lay its first track nearly two decades after voters approved it, California seems to be moving on to its next transportation fiasco: A high-speed bus system connecting Los Angeles and San Francisco that reaches an implausibly brisk 140 mph along the way.
It seems more likely that we’d see a city bus driven by Sandra Bullock jump the unfinished gap in a freeway ramp and land it like a 747.
But CalTrans sees high-speed bus travel “as a potential enhancement to the state’s public transportation network.”
At a recent hearing, Sen. Dave Cortese of San Jose, chair of the Senate Transportation Committee, said “high-speed buses are not a bad idea.” They are, in fact, “a good idea” and “certainly an option to rail.”
No, Senator Cortese, high-speed buses are a very bad idea, not to mention a very stupid idea. On California roads? Are you kidding?
The proposal reads as if someone took plans for the high-speed rail and substituted “bus” for all references to the train. For instance, “achieving safe, high-speed operation requires dedicated infrastructure, substantial vehicle redesign, and advanced safety and communication technologies.” But unless hills are flattened, sharp curves are smoothed and “specialized vehicles” that travel at hyper velocities while also avoiding crashes can be produced, speeds will be lower than promised.
The project would also need to complete “impact assessments for noise, emissions, and energy consumption,” while somehow forming “multidisciplinary consortia with stakeholders including federal and state agencies, academia, automotive manufacturers, and technology developers to leverage pooled resources and expertise.”
OK, well, this is actually something of a relief; the processes mentioned above will take years, by which time we can hope some semblance of sanity will have returned to the once-Golden State. Appearances notwithstanding, I know there are many Californians of solid conservative bent, some of whom are friends and colleagues of mine, who are working day and night to try to save their home state. I wish them every success, but I'm staying in Alaska.
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But honestly, a bus? At 140 mph? Have these people ever ridden on a bus, anywhere, let alone on the highways of the state that has the second-worst roads in the nation? (My own Alaska comes in at #1 there, but California doesn't have our winters to contend with.) In case anyone in the California legislature hasn't noticed, buses aren't exactly big on seat belts, and the really big cross-country rigs have restrooms, which means people are up and moving about. Now, imagine a 140-mph accident with all that being the case - you'd have people, and later, lawsuits, flying all over the place.
But, apparently, in Sacramento, high-speed rail and high-speed buses are no match for high-speed stupid.
One more thing: I will only accept a high-speed bus if a young (and adorable) Sandra Bullock is driving.
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