Contemplating air travel in the near future? Flying the friendly skies can be exasperating. It's stressful; you spend time waiting for the TSA line, you spend time waiting for the plane to board, then you spend time jammed in an aluminum cylinder with a couple of hundred strangers, hurtling through the upper atmosphere at 400 miles per hour, breathing all the same air they breathe, and trying to maintain your composure when the toddler in the seat behind you attempts to perform his rendition of the Anvil Chorus on the back of your seat, while his mother ignores him because she's watching RuPaul's Drag Race on her phone.
At least you can bring snacks through TSA now, though. Not drinks - but snacks. What snacks, egg-zaxctly? Apparently, now, entire rotisserie chickens are an approved snack. Limit? As many as can fit in your carry-on.
“Protein shakes? 3.4 oz or less,” the TSA said in a post on X on Monday.
“But rotisserie chickens??? As many as you can fit in your carry-on.”
In a statement to The U.S. Sun, the TSA further confirmed they were allowed saying “solid foods, like rotisserie chicken, are allowed in carry-on bags with no quantity limitations.”
In February, the TSA again told travelers that they are allowed to bring the popular food item on flights.
They aren't yolking.
“Yes, you can absolutely bring an entire rotisserie chicken on an airplane,” the TSA wrote on Facebook, along with a photo of a person carrying a unique bag holding their rotisserie chicken.
Responding to the post on X, the National Chicken Council said they’d like to thank the TSA “for their service.”
OK, I have some questions.
First, even if the TSA screening goes like cluckwork, what happens when the chicken-bearer is at 35,000 feet, and it's snack time? These aren't like chicken strips or chicken nuggets. There are bones, and there are greasy and wobbly parts you don't want to eat. With an entire chicken, that can amount to a fair amount of waste. I'm not too henthusiastic about the prospects of people bringing an entire roasted chicken onto the airplane and then being scrupulously clean about consuming it. I think it's much more likely that the bones and other waste will end up on the floor or in the seat-back pouch. Yuck.
Second, the TSA notes that travelers are allowed to bring on as many chickens as their carry-on bag will hold. Here, I can see another problem, in that most airlines really aren't very good about enforcing the carry-on bag size rules. I've seen too many instances where someone brings a storage bin big enough to serve as a dog coffin and tries to stuff it in the overhead bins, often taking up an entire bin, while the flight crew says nothing, not even a little fowl language. And now, these people may be able to fill that dog coffin up with rotisserie chickens? It's not just the selfish hogging of an entire overhead bin that makes one want to tell these people to cluck off; it's the smell of those chickens, which after a 12-hour overseas flight, could get downright nasty.
Read More: Wait, What? Chicken Rights Activists Are a Thing - Who Knew?
Other snacks might be better options - or maybe not. I'm not too sure about tamales. Not in an enclosed aluminum tube; any such spicy foods probably shouldn't be brought past the hen-trance. Anyway, here's the TSA-approved list. Yes, it includes tamales. And pizza.
In parting, I'll just say this: With this new TSA rule, I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of poultry in motion.
I'll show myself out.
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