Here is your absolute ridiculousness for today.

In Hoke County, North Carolina, a 5-year old girl was suspended from school for playing an advanced game of Kings and Queens during recess.

By advanced, I mean as she and her friends played princesses and assorted royalty in their make-believe kingdom, little Caitlin Miller was a palace guard, and she used a “gun-shaped” stick to protect the kingdom from intruders.

She could have been a princess, folks, but she wanted to be a Betty Bad*ss palace guard, and to ward off palace intruders!

Frankly, I’m impressed, but school officials were not.

Hoke County Schools said Caitlin posed a threat to other students when she made a shooting motion, thus violating policy 4331.

What was she going to do? Give them splinters?

“Hoke County Schools will not tolerate assaults, threats or harassment from any student. Any student engaging in such behavior will be removed from the classroom or school environment for as long as is necessary to provide a safe and orderly environment for learning,” the school system says.

Not even being involved with this, not knowing anyone that is involved, I feel very confident that no one was assaulted, felt threatened or harassed. If that were the case, she would have gotten longer than a single day’s suspension.

A poll conducted by ABC 11, asking if the school was right for suspending her currently is at 95% “No,” and 5% “Yes.”

I’m more worried about those 5% who think a stick gun is a threat.

We really are sending the wrong message to our kids. Such hyper-protectionism, even to the point of stifling the imagination of a developing child, only serves to create neurotic, easily manipulated adults.

That’s pretty much NOT what we want our kids to grow up to be.