LOOK OUT: Racist Cupcakes Are Here

Everything is racist.

Cupcakes may be the most racist thing, ever, as a matter of fact.

The gentle folk of Oregon have taken to their fainting couches over baked goods, and I don’t know if it’s more sad or completely hilarious.

The Oregonian/OregonLive reports that customers have been leaving Yelp reviews criticizing Fat Cupcake for its “Mr. President” pastry. The cupcake is described as an Oreo cookie baked inside white cake with cookies n’ cream buttercream.

Owner Anjelica Hayes says she is black, so the cupcake cannot be racist. She said they originally named the cupcake because it was so good they wanted it to hold public office. She later found out President Barack Obama’s favorite cookie was the Oreo.

Just as a point of interest: The notion that because Ms. Hayes is black, the cupcake can’t be racist is as ridiculous as the notion that people find a food item racist. She may have had completely racist intent. She may not have.

The Thought Police are in full force in Oregon, when they can apply insidious intent to something that sounds absolutely decadent and delicious.

For now, Ms. Hayes has changed the name of the cupcake from “Mr. President” to “The Professional.”

Seriously, guys. It’s a cupcake.