Trust me when I say this is exceedingly uncomfortable for me. I’ve spent years harpooning that rotund hack, Michael Moore.
So odious do I find this liberal turd, that under normal circumstances, just the mention of his name sends me into rolling peals of insults and grammar school-level fat jokes.
I’m not ashamed. Moore sucks at both movies and life.
But here we are.
The desperate times we find ourselves in with this election have backed me into a corner. I’m at a place where I’m less repulsed by Michael Moore than I am the Republican candidate for the presidency.
I can’t even believe I’m writing this, myself, but with it now out in the open, let me go a bit further.
The Guardian is reporting on a piece Moore wrote for the Huffington Post, where he claims to have inside information on Donald Trump’s decision to run for the presidency, and it sounds a lot like what many have been saying for some time, including myself.
Moore, writing on The Huffington Post, says that Trump ran for president as a negotiating tactic, hoping to leverage a higher pay packet from NBC. The broadcaster had formerly employed Trump as the star of the reality TV show The Apprentice, but fired him after he called Mexican immigrants “drug dealers” and “rapists” at his campaign launch.
According to Moore, who does not name his source, Trump continued his campaign only to increase his stock with other television networks.
“And then something happened,” Moore writes. “And to be honest, if it happened to you, you might have reacted the same way. Trump, to his own surprise, ignited the country, especially among people who were the opposite of billionaires.”
That would be those “poorly educated” that Trump spoke of, after winning Nevada.
Moore goes on to detail how Trump became power hungry, and grew addicted to the surge of psychotic cult-love he was receiving from his mindless Branch Trumpidians.
In regards to the seemingly endless string of gaffes:
“Maybe the meltdown of the past three weeks was no accident,” writes Moore. “Maybe it’s all part of his new strategy to get the hell out of a race he never intended to see through to its end anyway.”
Moore finally suggests that Trump would give up the Republican nomination rather than lose on election night.
“Trust me, I’ve met the guy. Spent an afternoon with him,” he writes. “He would rather invite the Clintons AND the Obamas to his next wedding than have that scarlet letter (“L”) branded on his forehead seconds after the last polls have closed on that night.”
It’s a new, intriguing twist on an old theory.
Many of us have said this was just a new reality TV show for Trump. It didn’t quite occur to anyone before now to suggest it was so he could get a better deal with NBC or up his stock with another network.
If that turns out to be the case and Trump bails on the election before the inevitable loss, Moore, myself, and quite a few others can say, “I told you so.”
If you want to read Moore’s entire theory, you can find it here.
In the meantime, I’m going to have to find something a little more substantial than this iced Frappuccino I’m sipping to wash the taste of agreeing with Michael Moore out of my mouth.