A Bunch of Tree-Hugging Hippie Crap, as "EcoSexuals" Wed the Ocean

Every day I think I’ve heard the stupidest thing ever, and then a bunch of dopey hippies pop up and do something like this.

A professor from Santa Monica College took a group of like-minded students to the Pacific Ocean, so that they could “marry” the sea.

From Truth Revolt:

Campus Reform talked with Amber Katherine, a philosophy professor, to explain the event and what it means. She said it was to bring about an ‘ecocentric passion and even lust’ for the Earth. Funding for this environmental ‘marriage’ came courtesy of SMC’s Public Policy Institute, as well as other campus organizations.

Rings were handed out and students were led with the pronouncement, ‘With this ring, I bestow upon the sea the treasures of my mind heart and hands—as well as my body and soul. With the power vested in us, we now pronounce you ‘married to the sea.'”

After this insane, progressive ritual, the students were instructed to consummate the “marriage” by dipping their toes, or whatever other body parts they liked, into the water.

Believe me, nobody wants this to be a joke more than me, but given the completely unhinged, reality-challenged nature of the typical, middle classed California snowflake, we all know this is really happening.

If you haven’t popped a rib laughing, yet, it goes further:

“And this isn’t the first marriage of its kind. Oh, no. SMC’s EcoSexual Club president Diego Marquez said it’s the second, and one that allowed for a ‘renewal’ of vows for those who have already married the Pacific Ocean.

One student, identified as Serenity, told CR that it is very important to get consent from the ocean before you go sticking your body into it:

‘Back when I would hug trees in Santa Cruz, I would sort of ask the tree if it was okay if I hugged it and I would feel their spirit or energy or something give a response back, and then proceed accordingly. Consent is definitely important. Do you think the Earth would consent to fracking and pollution? Probably not.’

They’re in college now. They’ll be out in the real world, soon.

Sometimes a firm smack to the back of the head is desperately warranted.