No, Guys, Dating a Transsexual Doesn't Mean You're Tolerant and Open-Minded

Ever since a bunch of perverts and nincompoops humored Bruce Jenner’s delusions and declared him “woman of the year,” there has been a concerted campaign to mainstream and normalize transsexualism as something natural and beautiful. The problem is that the world is largely sane, despite what Twitter and CNN might make you think at times, and people, by and large, shook their heads and said, “no, dude, that is really f***ed up.”


But, as we saw in the successful drive that converted buggery from a felony to an activity that we must celebrate, you can never underestimate the potential to make aberrant behavior the norm.

One of the major sticking points in mainstreaming the transsexual nonsense has been the refusal of heterosexual men to date men who are under the delusion that they are women.

The issue–if normal behavior on the part of heterosexual men  is an issue–has been kicking around the “trans activist” “community” for a while. Back in July, this string of tweets by “Zinnia Jones” a “trans activist and science writer” caught some attention

Then Medium (naturally) had this piece About your shitty no-trans dating policy…

Let’s be clear: We all have legitimate preferences in the bodies we connect with — I myself favour larger men (sorry, you guys under 180cm and 90kg!), and they need to have working penises. But when you reject a woman who fully meets your attraction profile, one has to wonder what’s really going on here.

When it comes to rejecting someone like me—someone whose appearance, function, and manner are indistinguishable from those of a cisgender woman—just because I have a trans history, the reasons must be intangible. Those reasons are inevitably the beliefs that I am not a ‘real’ woman, that I am ‘actually a man’, that I am mentally ill, and, in the crusty underneath of it all, that I am not human. These beliefs are resistant to evidence to the contrary, of which there is plenty, and are similar to the other prejudices listed above.

In other words, the bearer holds these beliefs about trans women irrespective of any potential sexual encounter: They represent ignorance at best, bigotry at worst. Refusal to consider the ample evidence which counters these beliefs places the bearer firmly in the class of bigot.

(Just to underscore: Trans women are women, we are born women, and we will always be women, whatever the state of our bodies—just as you will always be you, regardless of the state of your body. I understand that this may be confusing to cisgender people, and that there is a lot of misinformation out there. But if you care enough to have read this far, then you should care enough to get the good information and educate yourself, so that you can stop inadvertently harming us with your beliefs. Google ‘Trans 101’.)


Can you spot the flaws in the logic in that?

This issue jumped from the Tumblr-ish world of “trans activists” to the mainstream last week (bear with me here because I read this piece with about as much comprehension as a hog staring at a
Timex). A singer named Elgin Baylor Lumpkin who, for obvious reasons, goes by the stage-name of Ginuwine (a sample of his oeuvre)

was on a British reality television series called Celebrity Big Brother UK. I don’t really understand how this show works, why anyone would participate, or why anyone would watch so I won’t try to fake it and concoct a bullsh** summary. Suffice it to say Genuwine was in a “housemate” situation with a BBC “presenter” named Jonathan Willoughby. Willoughby is 51 year-old who has a teenage son he fathered, but he thinks he’s a woman and he wants us to call him India. This is what happened:

The controversy stems from a conversation between Willoughby and the “Pony” singer, in which she asked whether he would date a trans woman. “You would date me, yeah,” Willoughby, who is a trans woman herself, asked. “Not if you were trans,” Ginuwine replied. After Ginuwine replied that he would not date a trans woman, Willoughby attempted to plant a kiss on the singer. When her advance was rejected, Willoughby stormed off.


Think what would happen if a rather homely 50+ year-old male had tried to shame a younger woman into kissing him. That would be textbook sexual harassment. And, if he followed through on it, would be guilty of sexual battery in many jurisdictions. But because Genuwine, who is recently divorced from a rapper named Tonya Johnson but goes by the stage name of Solé:

(Geuwine also has nine kids and he’s not a conservative Catholic) refused to kiss a man, he is the bad guy. Then BBC got in on the act:

Divided opinions
“I do not want to call it transphobic,” says Miss SaHHara, a transgender woman who works as a model and songwriter. “When someone is transphobic they don’t sit next to them. Ginuwine was having a very comfortable conversation with India.”

“What is transphobia? If you are afraid of trans people, if you are excluding trans women from womanhood then you are being transphobic.

“What Ginuwine said was that of an ignorant person who has not been with a trans woman before. It was more of an ignorance, fed by a media that often depicts trans women in a sensationalised way, with strong bone structure and husky low-baritone voices,” Miss SaHHara says.

“The majority of straight men are worried about what society thinks of them if they date a trans woman,” she says. “Toxic masculinity makes them violent and rude about their attraction. When you don’t fancy someone you should talk about their characteristics. It’s not as black and white as many people think it is because whether you are attracted to someone or not is about being attracted to a fellow human being.”

However, Dr Liadh Timmins, who specialises in sexual orientation and gender identity at King’s College London, describes the comments as “transphobic”.

“Sexual attraction is a response to stimuli – that can be based on any number of things for example waist to hip ratio, certain behaviours, or breast size,” Dr Timmins says.

“If you have a trans woman who transitions very early on, she may be physically identical to a cis woman at a surface level.”

A “cis woman” or “cisgendered” person is someone whose gender identity matches the one they were born with.

“There are hormonal sweet spots where trans women can transition and be effectively indistinguishable at a certain level from cisgender women,” Dr Timmins says. “So being unwilling to date on the basis of someone being trans, rather than on the basis of individual stimuli is something I would personally call transphobic.”

“This is a philosophical rather than empirical discussion because their is not a lot of nuanced research into this area yet.

“Grouping all transgender women as the same and all cis gender women as the same is effectively prejudice,” Dr Timmins says.


Notice how its framed. The Divided Opinion is between Genuwine  either being ignorant and would certainly date a trannie if he were properly educated or he’s transphobic.

This strongly mirrors the arguments pushed back before homosexuality was mainstreamed. If you didn’t want your son showering with the gay scoutmaster you were either ignorant or homophobic.

Two things here are certain an immutable. Claiming you are a woman doesn’t make you a woman…even with massive amounts of surgery. And, guys, if your date has a penis, you are not dating a woman, and you’re not open-minded, you are gay (NTTAWWT). It is really that simple.


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