I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this headline New mission for Team Romney: Stop Trump. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that either someone is pumping industrial strength hallucinogens into Boston’s water supply (always possible) or someone in the Boston Globe is getting an early start on April Fools Day.

Some of them go back to 2002, the win. Others slogged through Iowa, twice, and rode aboard the Mitt Mobile. In 2012, they were so close to the White House they could taste it.

Now, the Mitt Romney diaspora — an army of former aides and advisers from Romney’s long political career — are arrayed among a host of Republican presidential campaigns. But, through no concerted effort, they are curiously aligned once again in common cause, a stem-to-stern effort that has united old comrades even as they nominally play for different teams: stopping Donald Trump.

“We are united,” said one former Romney aide now working for another campaign, which he said would not permit him to speak for attribution.

“It’s a common goal and not just for Romney people, but for anyone invested in Republicanism, conservatism, and anyone who gives a flying [expletive] about what we’re trying to do here. Even if you’re not getting paid, this isn’t good for anybody,” he said.

I have no doubt the quote is completely correct. When the reporter said ” would not permit him to speak for attribution” I knew it was legit because no one associated with Romney ever spoke on the record. During 2008 (until we banned Romney fluffers) and 2012 I would get opposition research sent to me by Romney guys and it was always labeled “not for attribution.”

If Trump is a deeply un-serious candidate, this is a deeply un-serious response to his rise. Team Romney got a chance in 2012 because the GOP field was the weakest it had been since 1964 and because Mitt Romney had enough money to be the last man standing. Romney was deeply unpopular with Republicans. He was not trusted by conservatives in a way that not even Trump is not trusted. He lost because millions of GOP voters decided that they could not bring themselves to throw the lever or mark the ballot for Mitt Romney. As I have said before, I spent the two weeks after election day 2012 giving blow jobs in the Washington, DC, Greyhound station men’s room in a vain attempt to get my self-respect back.

When one looks at the instinct of going for the exposed ankle or vulnerable capillary when campaigning against Obama, it is hard to see how they hope to compete with Trump on social media. These are the guys who get into an argument with someone, they get humiliated, and they wake up a week later, in the dead of the night, saying “that’s what I should have said.” By the same token, it is difficult to see who they plan on appealing to. Trump’s major campaign donors? Do they plan on wooing those disaffected Bush and Kasich voters who flocked to Trump? (Given the obscene number of former senior Romney campaign staff who landed in Bush’s campaign, it seems more likely than not that this is a Bush sponsored exercise.)

This is a joke. This is a feeble attempt by irrelevant people to appear relevant. And they remain anonymous for a reason. If Trump fades they can suddenly become visible and claim credit. If Trump doesn’t fade you don’t know who they are so you can’t laugh in their face.