I was born in 1968, and the assassinations of John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. were still recent, and the emotions related to them raw. That all three larger-than-life figures were cut down in their prime left ample room to romanticize them and their legacies. Not surprisingly, I grew up with a penchant for idolizing political leaders — and I know I'm far from alone in that. 

That's part and parcel of being a political junkie and being passionate about politics. There's plenty to be passionate about, and it's understandable that people get emotionally invested in the process, particularly when there's a high-profile race with high stakes on the line. I used to get caught up in it, too — something made even easier with the advent of social media. In 2008, 2012, and even 2016, I was right in the middle, mixing it up online, advocating passionately for my preferred candidates and against their opponents. It's addictive — and sometimes even fun. 

But I finally learned my lesson in 2016, and I've found it's stood me in good stead since: It's the political version of the Kenny Rogers/Kim Carnes hit "Don't Fall in Love With a Dreamer." 

Don't fall in love with a dreamer
'Cause he'll always take you in
Just when you think you've really changed him
He'll leave you again
Don't fall in love with a dreamer
'Cause he'll break you every time
Oh, put out the light, just hold on
Before we say goodbye

Substitute "candidate" for dreamer, and (setting aside the extra syllable) you have a solid chorus all consumers of politics would be wise to remember. No, we as voters don't "date" our preferred candidates (usually), nor should we treat them as prospective romantic partners — any more than we should look to them as rulers. For multiple reasons. 

Fallibility and the Need to Be Liked

First and foremost, politicians are human. Which means they're far from infallible. The higher one places them on a pedestal, the surer they are to fall. Not only that, but their survival and success in that realm practically demands they make promises they may not ultimately be able to keep as they work to woo votes from constituents. The entire setup incentivizes the candidate to whisper political sweet nothings into the ears of prospective voters — and usually, to do so in ways that vary depending on the audience. In short, it's not exactly an arena conducive to honesty and transparency — not that those aren't attributes to which they should aspire. But realistically, they aren't abundant in the political world. 

Love 'Em and Leave 'Em

Just as they're liable to take you in with their promises and lofty ideals, political candidates are always bound to leave you. By their very nature, elective offices have terms. Whether one year, two years, four, or six, there's always a breakup of some sort on the horizon, even without term limits. Sometimes, it's to move to a bigger, more powerful position. Sometimes, it's a reflection of changing electoral dynamics. Sometimes, it's burnout or family responsibilities. Sometimes, it's that flawed nature rearing its ugly head in a scandalous way. However it happens, your preferred candidate is destined to leave you at some point in the not-too-distant future. It's not you — it's them. 

Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes

There are those rare politicians who manage to keep their noses relatively clean — even in the face of the swampiness of most power centers and under intense scrutiny — and who manage to deliver on many of their promises. There are those who manage to parlay their leadership into higher office. But even with those, there are variables for which they can't control, and there can be races that just aren't theirs to win. 

So it goes with presidential primaries. You can start out with a large field of contenders — any one of whom would be a damn sight better than their prospective opponent in the general — and yet, one by one, they'll be eliminated. Often, without you even getting to have much of a say in it, aside from what you may share in your social circles or on social media. 

Bear in mind that things can get awfully chippy during that elimination process. Politics is a veritable bloodsport, and if you're too close to a candidate, you're liable to get splattered — whether that's in insult from those opposing them or fallout from the jabs you throw yourself will depend on your approach, but either way, it can be messy. And at some point, that's a mess that's going to need to be cleaned up. That's an easier process if your emotions haven't been rubbed raw. 

There Is No Happily Ever After

This ties into the notion of elected office and terms discussed above, but no political partnership lasts a lifetime. It's bound to end, and the best way to weather that is to keep emotions in check and keep it in perspective. Politicians are a means to an end. They are the vessels through which we (attempt to) govern society. And even the best of them can and will be replaced. 

So do yourself a grand favor and remember not to fall in love with a candidate. It will only end in heartache. 

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