I have been working from home since 2014. The first five years were during the time I held an administrative job at a North Carolina office that was shutting down. A senior manager in another state's office needed assistance managing his heavy workload, as he was putting in some 70 hours a week. I was on very good terms with the corporate office and that particular senior manager, both of whom appreciated my work ethic and agreed with my proposal to work out of my home using a work laptop and program to assist the senior manager with various projects.
After I was laid off from that job in early 2019 was when I started my writing career, where I continued to work from home. By that point, I had gotten used to working in the quiet with few interruptions outside of an email, breaking news alert, or a ping from a colleague. In 2022, when I decided to move back in with mom to be her full-time caregiver, some adjustments had to be made.
I wasn't used to working at home with someone around, and while mom and I enjoyed each other's company, we had to come to an agreement on limiting interactions when I was in the middle of writing. Because even though you're working from home, work is still work, and you've got to be able to focus. And there's got to be a good balance between your job and having a conversation.
It's mostly worked out, with Mom watching TV, reading a book, talking to friends and family on the phone, or tinkering on social media. And when family or friends visit during working days, that's all the better. But here lately, I've noticed she's tinkering on her phone a lot more, watching videos and reading news stories not just for a few minutes here and there like she used to, but for hours on end, and it's made me feel like something has gotten lost in the shuffle. My intent was not for this to happen. Having your face buried in a phone all day isn't good for you, in my opinion. And it's something she's recently taken to more and more.
Sometimes when I pause working and seek to spend time with her, she wants to take extra time to scroll through several more videos on Facebook first, to the extent I end up having to start back to work, the family moment lost. Because I'm not a big fan of what passes for "content" on Facebook these days, I've advised her against spending so much time watching videos and have asked her to moderate her time on social media.
Over the last two or three months or so, I've even made a more concerted effort to take longer pauses between writing pieces and other work and "Life Happens" responsibilities to spend more time talking to her and enjoying our time with each other, whether it's just sharing a laugh or a heart to heart, or taking rides around town just to get out, maybe to go get an ice cream during the work week. All of this has helped to break up the monotony of the typical workday and has decreased her phone time and my screen time to some extent.
This has not just been done because of the phone issue, but also because, in some respects, I feel like precious time has been slipping away that would be better spent enjoying each other's company, and we can't do it if I'm not managing my time well when I'm working and if she's going to spend all day scrolling Facebook.
I think these work/life/communication balance issues between family members hit a lot of people, whether they are caregivers or not, and whether they work from home or in an office. I remember when Mom worked in an office and asked my sisters and me not to call multiple times a day unless it was an emergency because she was busy.
But the balancing does get a little more complicated when you're a caregiver, and you're trying to provide the best life you can for your loved one, especially one who, like my mom, has gone through so much - all while trying to manage the house, work, etc.
I'm constantly growing and evolving in this role, trying to tweak how I do things, how I respond to things, how I suggest changes with mom, etc. I'm so glad that when we talk, for the most part, we can agree on happy mediums on things.
Regarding phone usage, that is still "under discussion" because, as she has reminded me on occasion, she is still the mom here. But one thing I know she understands perhaps more than just about anything else is that we are not on an unlimited supply of time, so we need to relish these moments together as long as the Lord allows us.
