Watch: Mark Steyn's Parody Spin of Joe Biden's 'Hairy Legs' Story Provides the Humor Break We All Need

Tucker Carlson and Mark Steyn Tucker Carlson and Mark Steyn – 12/2/19. Screen grab via Fox News.

On Monday, I wrote about the animated rendering a Twitter user made using Joe Biden’s bizarre “hairy legs” lifeguard tale, a story from 2017 which resurfaced over the weekend in video form.


To recap, here’s the June 2017 clip that made the rounds on social media Saturday and Sunday and had people talking. Note towards the end how Biden states he “learned about kids jumping on my lap, and I loved kids jumping on my lap”:

Fox News noted in their report that that portion of the speech had little to nothing to do with the full speech he gave at the time, which made the inclusion of the information all the more strange.

As I also noted in my piece from yesterday, there’s just no other way to describe the story Biden gave as anything other than downright creepy and disturbing. But because he’s going to be allowed to skate right on by it without having to give any clarifying statement or explainer, some political observers are taking the comedy/parody route in order to help get the rest of us through this extraordinarily awkward moment from Biden’s storied, sometimes infamous political history.

Mark Steyn is one such commentator who stepped up to the plate to analyze and give a parody spin not only of Biden’s “hairy legs” story but also the peculiar “No Malarkey” name of his Iowa bus tour. He appeared on Tucker Carlson’s show last night and left viewers cackling:


“He paid some fancy millennial consultant $30 million to come up with that slogan,” Steyn said. “They did focus groups on other ones … They also want for the, no horsefeathers tour. I think that tested quite well with Muslim millennials. And they tried the no-flap doodle tour. I think that actually worked well with some feminist lesbians.

“And then the final one… the no cockamamie, fiddle-faddle, for the birds, bunkum, dagnabit tour, which polled really strongly with undocumented transgenders,” he added.


“I have waited all my life for a hairy-legged candidate and this is — this is a critical lane and the Democratic primary,” he said. “We talk about the moderate lane, the socialist lane, the even more socialist lane, but the hairy leg lane has been wide open since Beto [O’Rourke] Instagrammed himself shaving his legs back in August.

“And then using an arugula exfoliate to moisturize them. [Biden] cunningly saw that there was an opening.”

The partial transcript just doesn’t do it justice. Watch Steyn’s humorous take on the latest Biden news below:


This isn’t his first time dissecting Biden’s antics with a humorous twist. Back in August, Steyn performed a dramatic reenactment of an untrue war story Biden has given on the campaign trail, a story which even the Washington Post called out as fake news at the time.

When all else fails, humor is often the way to go. Well done, sir.

(Hat tip: Daily Caller)

— Based in North Carolina, Sister Toldjah is a former liberal and a 16+ year veteran of blogging with an emphasis on media bias, social issues, and the culture wars. Read her Red State archives here. Connect with her on Twitter. –


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