President Trump, at a speech Friday night in Palm Beach, reminded the American people once again that if he weren't busy running the country, he could probably be dabbling in a fairly successful career in stand-up.
The mockery of Joe Biden. The comedic timing. Trump would give Ben Bankas a run for his money.
The President visited The Villages in Central Florida, then headed on over to the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach, his first public appearance since the latest attempt on his life. Sad, isn't it, that we have to identify it as the "latest" assassination attempt, since there have been so many?
If Trump was weary from the latest attack, or even concerned about his own safety (which would be a reasonable response), he didn't show it. Instead, he treated the crowd to pure entertainment, including a laugh-out-loud riff on why he never got a White House dog.
"You know, they all wanted me to buy a dog when I went to the White House, they said, 'Sir, you'll be the first President in 68 years, or something, that doesn't have a dog,'" he said.
"I said, 'It's not going to work for me.'"
At which point, he roasted Biden, who had a famously terrible track record with owning dogs.
"His dog was a vicious dog. Kept biting our Secret Service people. You know, we had 28 bite problems. This was a violent dog. That's not a dog I'd want," Trump explained to laughter in the crowd.
🤣🤣🤣 I swear he was supposed to be a comedian and something somewhere took a wrong turn pic.twitter.com/OmSawmFDhN
— Whale Psychiatrist ™️ (@k_ovfefe2) May 2, 2026
READ MORE: Biden's German Shepherd Strikes Again, Bites 11th Secret Service Agent
Trump was just hitting his stride with the Biden jokes. It was when the President explained that politicians tend to adopt pets to make themselves appear more relatable, then imagined himself doing the same, and the media reaction to such a move, that really had the people in stitches.
"But for 60 years, I guess even longer, every President's had a dog, because they do it for votes," Trump continued. "Some of them do it because they love the dog—probably most of them do it for votes. And I thought it would look quite fake."
He imagined the media coverage he would have received had he adopted a dog.
"Can you imagine, Donald Trump has purchased a lovely, lovely little poodle. And he walks him religiously every day on the White House grounds," he said before sending liberal heads into spontaneous combustion with mention of his favorite project.
"As he's inspecting the ballroom that's going up," he said to laughter. "They walk deep down into a foundation that's going down to China. There's a lot of stuff going on in that foundation, let me tell you."
Comedian In Chief https://t.co/iLHF4DZOr1
— Eagle Ed Martin (@EagleEdMartin) May 2, 2026
The Biden White House, by contrast, tried the presidential pet route. It didn't go well.
Joe's first German Shepherd, Major, was rehomed in 2021 after a string of biting incidents that left White House staff and Secret Service personnel injured. His replacement, Commander, proved even more aggressive, racking up at least 24 reported bites on White House personnel before he, too, was quietly removed from the premises.
It was thought that President Biden's dog Commander only bit Secret Service protectors. But now there are pictures of Commander attacking the WH grounds superintendent -- the 12th known victim. The president does not seem to care. https://t.co/lBGyc7zzRF https://t.co/o9PoMEgRv3
— Byron York (@ByronYork) October 5, 2023
They tried so hard to make the lifelong politician relatable and seize on that ol' lovable Uncle Joe persona. Instead, Major and Commander unleashed a literal reign of terror on just about anybody walking the White House grounds.
Can you imagine Trump walking around the Oval Office with a chihuahua hanging off his ankles?
Editor's Note: Do you enjoy RedState's conservative reporting that takes on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth.
Join RedState VIP and use promo code FIGHT to receive 60% off your membership.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member