The American People have gazed long into the swirling abyss.* They stared long and hard and discovered that Hillary Rodham Clinton, Martin O’ Malley, Chris Christie, [mc_name name=’Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’C001098′ ], [mc_name name=’Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000595′ ], and a plethora of other disgusting, slug-like midget vote suckers were oozing towards the Presidential Primaries. So the People have done what they can do to send the powers that be a message. That message has been personified by the sudden booms being enjoyed by THE DONALD and THE BERN!**

In the best of all possible worlds, neither of these guys would reach a standing of greater than 0.000% in the polls. We’ll start with THE DONALD – otherwise we’d be fired. We’ve already got Jake Tapper asking Mr. Trump which of his three marriages he believes was traditional. The man has more bankruptcies than Greece and Puerto Rico combined. He’s accusing the immigrants of raping women right and left. All of this is slightly more logical than his grand and noble quest after the Kenyan Birth Certificate back in 2012. All of this “jiggery-pokery” has him in 2nd place among prospective GOP Primary voters. The Dems could not be more smug and self-satisfied.

And then we get to what makes the Dems no longer need a laxative. Good, Old Uncle McRapey from Vermont. That would be Senator McRapey, mind you and he elected to amuse us all by running for President. He once asked the following existential question. “Do you know why the newspapers with articles like ‘Girl, 12, raped by 14 men’ sell so well? To what in us are they appealing?” Why no, Bernie. It pretty much beats my pair of jacks. But he was talking about something more near and dear to the typical Democrat’s heart in Madison, Wisconsin.

Among the presents in Santa’s Little Federal Toy Sack if we all vote for THE BERN are debt-free college, a single-payer healthcare system, $15 Minimum Wage, massive government roads-and-bridges spending, more Social Security Benefits and a partridge in a pear tree. Of course, he’ll pay for it all by taxing the rich and fixing Wall Street! Exactly like Bill Clinton and Barack Obama did, oh wait…

So neither of these guys could win an election to chair any university chapter of The College Republicans or The Young Democrats outside the Green Mountain People’s Democracy known as Vermont. They are each in their own right a dysfunctional whack-job. Somebody called Bernie Sanders the Ron Paul of the Left. I’ll expropriate that the next time I write a blog to insult the man further. THE DONALD would perhaps be the Right’s Vladimir Harkonnen. Why does either of these guys get the attention and adulation that they currently do?

We all know this answer. I commented on it yesterday. The Left is eating itself and the Right lacks the courage to own what it should be. Imagine the vapors Heb will get if THE DONALD is a freak-show attraction at THE DEBATE. Imagine poor, little Jillary if THE BERN actually won the New Hampshire Primary. It could happen. Neither of our major parties has demonstrated a willingness to actually put forth a worthwhile agenda for the future and unify around these principles. This will continue until at least one of the two exploitive gangs we call political parties gets a wee bit sick of having their agenda set for them by media-harlot crackpots. When the public flocks to the likes of THE DONALD and THE BERN; they are telling the supposedly responsible politicians to get off their dead rear-ends and get to work.

*-No, it wasn’t because Comcast didn’t carry anything better.

**-You can even #FeelTheBern on Twitter if you are as perverted as the candidate that particular hashtag supports.