You know what I think is really nice and special? I mean nicer and even more special than a venti Pumpkin-Spice Latte at Starbucks? The fact that A&E values creativity and would never encourage hate. Oh, and the fact that they are now swell enough people to forgive Phil Robertson for publicly stating that he believes homosexuality is a sin. They want this done as fast as possible now that people have reacted to their “infinite hiatus” of Mr. Robertson from his TV Reality Show Duck Dynasty.

And it gets even better. A&E tells The Hollywood Reporter what their true values are.

As a global media content company, A+E Networks’ core values are centered around creativity, inclusion and mutual respect.

It’s generally instructive to notice that members of the entertainment industry stop behaving like a ravening orc tribe and develop a rare case of the core values when they suffer an exaspirated extirpation at the hands of an utterly disgusted public. Now the obvious question here becomes how can people who stand for the saccharine-sweet pieties of post-Christian post-modernity possibly be compared to a cannibalistic pack of orcs. That answer is simple. The christophobic bigots of American Popular Culture are like Cotton Mather without a copy of The Gospel handy.

All of this talk about inclusion, respect for diversity, and forgiveness is a potemkin. All this holier-than-thou, Splenda-sweet goodness and purity is a doppleganger’s facade. Behind this comity is an evil, cowardly, hateful sniveling bully. These people read the now-infamous Phil Robertson interview in GQ and couldn’t wait to make him an example.

You see Phil Robertson stars on a reality show about duck-hunting and very old-fashioned family life in rural Louisianna. To the Hollyorcs snorting their nose candy through about 10 seconds worth of rolled-up Duck Dynasty advertising revenue; Phil Robertson is a stereotype-in-the-flesh redneck joke. They probably believed the guy thought the stock market needed an electric fence to keep the cattle from wandering.

They are SO much better than the Robertsons of this world. They are happy to follow them around with cameras the way some people watch the NASCAR series in hopes of seeing a nice, thumping pile-up at Talladega. Hollywood thought they could use the Robertsons. They wanted them decked out in camo and saying truly ignorant things. The last thing they wanted to hear is what these people had to think about much of anything. It was all suppossed to be a kitsch joke.

Than a funny thing happened to the whole entire joke. Phil shot his mouth off and gave an honest, heart-felt answer on a topic any good publicist would have told him was off limits. He informed people that he believed homosexuality was a sin and that he could cite the biblical passages to back his theological opinion. This sat poorly with all the mincing key grips who secretly joked about how members of the Robertson family believed that the Volvo was a piece of feminine anatomy. At this point the cute little rednecks stopped being cute and the deep intelects that inform post-modernity’s pathetic excuse for morality demanded that Phil Robertson be punished.

But then the redneck jokes got even more stale and less funny. A&E, Cracker Barrel and every other entitly that gave in to the Torquemadas of Tolerance came under withering fire. This outraged general public represented a threat to what Hollywood truly worships. They were seriously going to stop watching and stop patronizing the people buying advertsiements. istandwithphil.com represented a threat to the ability of the smug, condescending Hollyorc glitterarti to dictate what people were allowed to say or think. So now A&E has a serious case of the values. Get a load of this hooey below!

But Duck Dynasty is not a show about one man’s views. It resonates with a large audience because it is a show about family… a family that America has come to love. As you might have seen in many episodes, they come together to reflect and pray for unity, tolerance and forgiveness. These are three values that we at A+E Networks also feel strongly about.

So Phil Robertson’s “infinite hiatus” lasted about long enough or the bored viewers of The Poinsettia Bowl to take a leak and grab a brewski. They weren’t even back from duck hunting season before the Gaystapo cut and run. Duck Dynasty now rules over Hollyorc’s laughable pandering to “Progressive” values. Who’s your patriarch now?