The Worst Thing about the Census Bureau, Unemployment Rate Conspiracy Theory

Yeah, Uh-huh, If You Like Your Plan, Too Bad!!!!
Yeah, Uh-huh, If You Like Your Plan, Too Bad!!!!

Boy! The pollsters sure taught Barack Obama a thing or two! If the election happened tomorrow, do you know who would beat him like a rented farmer’s mule? Mitt Romney! Of course, there’s a catch. The election was a year ago, and Mitt was the mutt that just didn’t quite have the sniff when it counted. Could this be the sign that the Progressives are finally on the way down from their hubris-laden perches of power and influence? It could be, but I have my skeptical doubts.


Yesterday we learned shocking news. Over 100 million Americans have signed up at! Gappedo couldn’t build enough Pinocchios to rate this on the Washington Post lie scale, so we’re calling it a gaffe. It also comes on the heels of a less amusing foray into the domain of amateur male bovine scatology. It seems the US Census Bureau’s September 2012 Unemployment Report may have been a foray into the magical world of statistical engineering. The NY Post tells us the following:

In the home stretch of the 2012 presidential campaign, from August to September, the unemployment rate fell sharply — raising eyebrows from Wall Street to Washington. The decline — from 8.1 percent in August to 7.8 percent in September — might not have been all it seemed. The numbers, according to a reliable source, were manipulated. And the Census Bureau, which does the unemployment survey, knew it.

Wow! What a bombshell! Stop the presses. Get it on the air now! YAAAAAWWWWNN!!!

Caucasoid, Please! We all knew what Barack Obama was by 2012. We had a pretty good idea back in 2008. He’s laughing about this. He’s laughing his butt off. Of course he invented convenient U3 numbers in time for his reelection. He invented them the way he had Lois Lerner invent convenient IRS audits and harassments of Tea Party Groups. He invented them the same way he sicced the NSA on his political enemies. And every last one of us knew this man was just that much of a scumbag.


The people who voted for him like scumbag. They are a majority. As long as 51% of us get to scumbag on 47% of them, it’s all good and dandy. I can imagine him now. “If you like, your Doctor, you can keep him. HAHAHAHAHAHA! If you really like him, you can collect him and trade him with your friends! Oh-HO-HO-HO, those people are suckers. I may not really believe my own b— s—, but they sure are stupid enough to!”

Maybe, this last one was a bridge too far. Maybe, just maybe, he will have messed over too large a percentage of the people and least a few of his confederates will lose their political careers. Because that’s really what it will take for the current “Progressive” coalition to lose power. The cost of the Visigoth Holiday has to hit home to a majority of the people, and ObamaCare may be about the only way that will happen soon.

As for this whole Census Bureau scandal, there are several things about it that make me sick. First, I’m completely unsurprised. I mean I read the article, nodded and said to myself, “Well, yeah! Par for the course.” Second, this is pretty much how all government runs under Barack Obama. As long as enough Democrats stand shoulder-to-shoulder government will continue to exist to reward their friends, punish their enemies and then administer the country as a distant 3rd priority. Finally, I look around me at my fellow man and see how glacially indifferent they would be if it were true. We’re conditioned to this from post-modern American government.


That’s why ObamaCare’s detonation in the faces of the Democratic Party could gradually be a positive once the debris is carted off. Just seeing a bunch of people who robotically parroted the lie “If you like your coverage, you can keep it.” eat a consequence sandwich would make me feel that at least karma still worked in America.


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