An Environmentalist Comes Clean

Well, well, well. We now know that even Captain Planet lives his life in an ethically compromised trade space*. It turns out that Van Jones and other leading environmentalists kept quiet during the BP Oil Well Fiasco of 2010 because they didn’t want to hurt the Obama Presidency. They cared more about their human friends than the cuddly polar bears. I’m sure Artemis, The Hunt-Goddess is saddling up the hounds of ill-omen.


Yet Van Jones elected to be a team player and let his commitment to the wild, untamed places die in a petrochemical bonfire. His short-lived, official position as a Green Jobs Czar makes the whole sell-out thing even more laughable. Nothing is worse than an environmentalist that bites the hand feeding him someone else’s money. Van Jones sycophants (all six of them) claim he has higher motives than just finding a powerful government patron. offers us the following lush, verdant agitprop.

For Van, the green economy is really about the convergence of the social justice and environmental movements, allowing “all boats to be lifted” as we begin the transition out of a dirty, carbon-based economy .

Van Jones' Ethics Up In Chemical Smoke

Yet when the slick, black Fluid of All Modern Iniquity coated the surface of The Gulf of Mexico, Van Jones and his Merry Pranksters** found other ways to spend their enriching and precious hours on Blessed Gaia. He describes his profound commitment to cleaner oceans below.

You’ve never seen the environmental movement more quiet during an oil spill. I guarantee you, if John McCain had been President, with that oil spill, or George Bush had been President with that oil spill, I’d have been out there with a sign protesting. I didn’t, because of who the President was.


Just as Iraq and Afghanistan magically stopped being wars after Democrats took over Congress in January 2007, gushers of crude oil aren’t pollution when a Democrat occupies the White House. They are merely curiously large concentrations of naturally occurring hydrocarbons once that Democrat has put enough well-connect Green Activists on the Federal Gravy-Train. I guess a good Community Organizer has a duty to always support The Man. You know, just like Shaft.***

*-This is Van Jones talking, so I’m certain it’s a Fair Trade Space.
**- Ken Kesey flew one last time over the Cuckoo’s Nest a decade ago.
***- Oops, that was sticking it to The Man. Poor Van, he gets confused some days.


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