Warning: Make sure you’re sitting down before you read any further. There’s some rather shocking news to share.
Turns out Lena Dunham is a lousy human being.
I know. I know. But add to your current scoffing of her lousiness the fact that she returned her rescue dog, Lamby (!!!), to the animal shelter where she adopted him three years ago. Not three months ago. Three years ago. You know, back when Harry Reid was still the Senate Majority Leader and Caitlyn Jenner was still Bruce.
And what has she done with Lamby in the years she’s had the canine in her care? Brought him to green rooms when she made television appearances, had him join in on photo shoots, featured him prominently on social media, and of course, she wrote multiple longwinded, oh-so-Lena-Dunham-esque think pieces on her life with Lamby.
So it was quite the announcement when the woman who identifies so closely with The Simpsons Lisa if her Instagram account is any indication, who is notoriously a Buddhist on the show, would discard an animal she’d adopted so long ago. But here it is:
View this post on Instagram
A lot of you have been asking where Lamby is these days since he's always been the star of my gram and I've been posting pics of my poodle girls. Well, you know honesty is my jam but this one has been really heartbreaking to talk about. But I feel I have to share that last March, after four years of challenging behavior and aggression that could not be treated with training or medication or consistent loving dog ownership, Lamby went to live at an amazing professional facility in Los Angeles @matt_thezendog where an awesome person named @therealdanishay (who is educated in a rescue dog's specific trauma) loves him so hard. Lamby suffered terrible abuse as a pup that made having him in a typical home environment dangerous to him and others- we needed to be responsible to ourselves, our neighbors and especially our beloved boy. Jack and I will miss him forever but sometimes when you love something you have to let it go (especially when it requires tetanus shots and stitches.) Someday I'll really write about the pain and relief of letting Lamby go off and really be Lamby, biting and peeing in his own mouth and all. There were so many lessons in it, about forgiving myself and loving with an open palm and giving in to a larger plan. Shout out to @jennikonner for listening to endless hours of Lamby pain, and especially my partner @jackantonoff for loving him even when he ruined floors and couches and our life. Jack knows what Lamby means to me and he let me come to the decision in my own time even when it made his days challenging. Susan & Karen will never be my first loves, but they are fuzzy and hilarious stuffing for the hole Lamby left and we cherish them deeply ❤️#lamby #thefirstcutisthedeepest #foreverlamb PS If you have a similar situation, please know its possible to responsibly re-home your rescue rather than sending them back into the shelter system. It can require patience, diligence and often a financial contribution but there are solutions that leave everyone happy and safe. You will always have been your dog's first stop outside shelter life and that's beautiful.
Dunham would still maintain her crown of being a terrible person and worse pet owner regardless, but the shelter is now disputing her story of woe.
Turns out, Lamby doesn’t have a history of abuse.
“We checked the records for Lamby,” Robert Vazquez told Yahoo Celebrity via email. “He was ‘owner surrendered, not enough time,’ so we do not know where she got ‘multiple owners that abused the dog.’” (In her New Yorker piece from March 2013, Dunham said the dog had “three other homes, three other names, but now he’s mine mine mine.”)
“When she adopted the dog from us, it wasn’t crazy,” Vazquez continued. “I have pictures of the dog loving on Lena and her mom, which is weird if the dog was abused. It wouldn’t be cuddling with her or be in the bed with her ‘boyfriend’ in the pages of Vogue.”
So, Dunham basically made up whatever sob story she wanted to tell in order to garner sympathy.
It should also be noted that she and her supposedly allergic boyfriend, Jack, adopted two new puppies shortly before sending Lamby back to the shelter.
What a great “mother” as she calls herself in regards to Lamby. Of course, Dunham had to address her lousiness and came up with a defense that leaves much to be desired. Saying in part,
Lamby was and is one of the great loves of my life. When I met him I knew we’d have an amazing journey. But his aggression – which was unpredictable- and his particular issues, which remain myriad, weren’t manageable, at least not by me. I did what I thought the best mother would do, which was to give him a life that provided for his specific needs. He’d been with me for nearly four years and I was his mom- I was in the best position to discern what those needs were.
If that’s how she thinks a mother really feels, then I hope she never has children.