Warning: Make sure you’re sitting down before you read any further. There’s some rather shocking news to share.
Turns out Lena Dunham is a lousy human being.
I know. I know. But add to your current scoffing of her lousiness the fact that she returned her rescue dog, Lamby (!!!), to the animal shelter where she adopted him three years ago. Not three months ago. Three years ago. You know, back when Harry Reid was still the Senate Majority Leader and Caitlyn Jenner was still Bruce.
And what has she done with Lamby in the years she’s had the canine in her care? Brought him to green rooms when she made television appearances, had him join in on photo shoots, featured him prominently on social media, and of course, she wrote multiple longwinded, oh-so-Lena-Dunham-esque think pieces on her life with Lamby.
So it was quite the announcement when the woman who identifies so closely with The Simpsons Lisa if her Instagram account is any indication, who is notoriously a Buddhist on the show, would discard an animal she’d adopted so long ago. But here it is:
Dunham would still maintain her crown of being a terrible person and worse pet owner regardless, but the shelter is now disputing her story of woe.
Turns out, Lamby doesn’t have a history of abuse.
“We checked the records for Lamby,” Robert Vazquez told Yahoo Celebrity via email. “He was ‘owner surrendered, not enough time,’ so we do not know where she got ‘multiple owners that abused the dog.’” (In her New Yorker piece from March 2013, Dunham said the dog had “three other homes, three other names, but now he’s mine mine mine.”)
“When she adopted the dog from us, it wasn’t crazy,” Vazquez continued. “I have pictures of the dog loving on Lena and her mom, which is weird if the dog was abused. It wouldn’t be cuddling with her or be in the bed with her ‘boyfriend’ in the pages of Vogue.”
So, Dunham basically made up whatever sob story she wanted to tell in order to garner sympathy.
It should also be noted that she and her supposedly allergic boyfriend, Jack, adopted two new puppies shortly before sending Lamby back to the shelter.
What a great “mother” as she calls herself in regards to Lamby. Of course, Dunham had to address her lousiness and came up with a defense that leaves much to be desired. Saying in part,
Lamby was and is one of the great loves of my life. When I met him I knew we’d have an amazing journey. But his aggression – which was unpredictable- and his particular issues, which remain myriad, weren’t manageable, at least not by me. I did what I thought the best mother would do, which was to give him a life that provided for his specific needs. He’d been with me for nearly four years and I was his mom- I was in the best position to discern what those needs were.
If that’s how she thinks a mother really feels, then I hope she never has children.
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