Oh My, This Is Embarrassing: Eric Swalwell's Erotic Poetry

Democrat Rep. Eric Swalwell (CA-14) is running for governor of California.

It's not going very well for him so far, as the Republicans are leading in the most recent polling and the Democrats aren't coalescing around him, instead splitting their votes among multiple people.

He's even getting called out for missing a lot of votes in Congress by one of his Democrat opponents in the race, billionaire Tom Steyer.

California Could Do the Funniest Thing: GOP Leading 2026 Governor Polls

One of his main problems is that people don't take him seriously, and he's viewed as a lightweight, in my opinion.

So I'm just going to take a wild guess that this story about his erotic poetry isn't going to help him in that regard.

I give you fair warning. Gird yourself, this is embarrassing.

NEW

The Daily Mail has obtained the following "poem" written by Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) when he was at Campbell University.

He describes a fantasy in which he and a woman kiss until "veins imploded and exploded" and "blood rolled down our chins"

Bizarre to say the least pic.twitter.com/Dq2webdZhu
— Ryan Saavedra (@RyanSaavedra) February 16, 2026

The Democrat, now running for governor, wrote the eyebrow-raising piece when he was a 19-year-old student enrolled at Campbell University, where he contributed to the literary magazine “The Lyricist” and also penned a column for the student newspaper, according to Daily Mail.
The poem, titled “Hungover From Burgundy,” describes two partners meeting atop a hotel before having “formless and magnificent” sex in a “flurry of limbs and nails,” with the narrator appearing to relish being bitten.
“While I screamed / She bent her lips to mine,” the passage reads, adding the pair kept kissing “till veins imploded and exploded … For bounded mouths cannot speak of parting.”
“And there beauty was, formless and magnificent — a flurry of limbs and nails. She chased and I ran, I chased and she ran,” Swalwell wrote in the poem.

The poem continued:

“Atop my hotel she stopped, and I lept for cloth and tan, my anxious arm she bit — my scar is beautiful.”
Swalwell continued: “While I screamed, she bent her lips to mine. Kissing till veins imploded and exploded, till blood rolled down our chins, for bounded mouths cannot speak of parting.”
“In the morning, I awoke beside beauty’s shadow — her form sloppy and her legs pale. My scar lost, my lips cracked and dry. And we groaned simultaneously."

I don't know if I can say "eww" enough over that one. Seriously, Eric? Biting and chasing? Eeks. And on top of that, it's just not a very good poem. But perhaps given the thoughts about biting, getting together with someone named "Fang" was a foregone conclusion.

Frankly, it reads like he was trying to be edgy but had no idea, so this is what he came out with.

His team is trying to fluff it off.

His spokesman laughed off the cringeworthy poetic effort. 'If you think Eric's poetry at 18 was bad, you should see his diary entries from when he was 12,’ he said.

Diary entries? Oh, lord, dig the hole deeper. He really has no sense of the public.

But that wasn't going to stop the mockery.

I'm sure we all groaned simultaneously after reading that.
— ssubzero (@ssubzero) February 16, 2026

Our managing editor thought of the irony of the school's fight slogan.

It's kinda hilarious that Swalwell wrote this bilge while a student at Campbell University ... #RollHumps indeed! 😂

Or is the Fighting Camels' mascot, Gaylord the Camel, a better tie-in for Swalwell? https://t.co/O178uGWMEq
— Jennifer Van Laar (@jenvanlaar) February 16, 2026

The problem, of course, is that he still doesn't have much substance.

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