The Babylon Bee Weighs in on Derek Chauvin Guilty Verdict

Court TV via AP, Pool

Following the conviction of former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin on Tuesday on all three charges in connection with the May 2020 death of George Floyd, The Babylon Bee satire site weighed in with its unique perspective on the verdict and its aftermath.

As The Bee “reported,” after the verdict was announced, Black Lives Matter co-founder Patrisse Khan-Cullors explained to the crowd gathered outside the courthouse, “We haven’t really achieved justice!” And why not, “according to” Khan-Cullors (The Bee)?

We’ll get there.

As my RedState colleague Nick Arama reported earlier this month, the self-avowed Marxist found herself in a bit of a hypocritical mess after dropping more than $1.4 million on a two-house compound in Topanga Canyon in Los Angeles, a predominantly “white” area.

As Nick also reported less than a week later, not only did Khan-Cullors already own three upscale homes before buying the fourth — all of which add up to more than $3.2 million in value — she also defended her real estate portfolio, saying “this effort to harass me and my family” has “taken away from where the focus should be; ending white supremacy.”

But? As “reported” by The Bee, the BLM co-founder spoke to the gathered throng outside the courthouse about why the Chauvin guilty verdict just didn’t quite get the job done.

Despite the collective sigh of relief from the gathered masses after the verdict was announced, Khan-Cullors set them straight, per The Bee:

“Wait! Not so fast! We have more work to do! We haven’t really achieved justice! We must not stop until I can afford to buy a 5th house! Er— I mean, until we dismantle all the systems or whatever!”

She then led a chant.

“Chant with me now! No justice, no peace! No justice, no peace!”

According to The Bee, the throng was initially confused, having believed just moments earlier that justice had been served, but decided to go along with the chant, anyway, after remembering how much fun it was to chant. “No justice, no peace!”, they chanted in unison.

As The Bee reported, it might take several more months of “violent activism” before Khan-Cullors can afford her fifth “dream home.”

Check out the rest of The Bee’s report, along with a bunch of other good stuff, here.

Incidentally, in what sounds like it should be from The Babylone Bee, both Nancy Pelosi and George Floyd’s girlfriend thanked Floyd for getting himself killed, following the verdict.

First, Pelosi literally looked skyward as she thanked Floyd for “sacrificing” himself:

“So again, thank you, George Floyd, for sacrificing your life for justice. For being there to call out to your mom — how heartbreaking was that? — ‘I can’t breathe’ — but because of you … your name will always be synonymous [with justice].”

I hate to rain on San Fran Nan’s delusional pander parade, but I’m pretty sure George Floyd was not interested in, nor trying to, “sacrifice himself for justice.”

The depth to which this pathetic, self-unaware hack will stoop to obscenely exploit anyone or anything, solely for the sake of political expediency, is breathtaking. She reminds me of an old joke. Following the set-up line, “What do you think I am?”, the punchline is: “We’ve already established that; we’re just quibbling over price.”

And George Floyd’s girlfriend — thanking him for dying for “other people.”

“I love him with all my heart, and I’d do anything to have him standing next to me, today. But I know — I know — he gave his life so this could happen. I know he gave his life so other people’s cases can get reopened, we can re-examine the cases … we can get justice for people that deserve it.”

How can you not have empathy for this woman? Unlike shameless Pelosi, she is not pandering, nor exploiting the ever-loving crap out of George Floyd and the Chauvin verdict.

But I have to be honest, as well. If Floyd were “standing right next to [her], today,” would she tell him not to resist arrest? Would she plead with him because she loves him?

As I wrote last week, in conjunction with the Daunte Wright shooting, suggesting that people of all colors avoid resisting arrest and/or fleeing, and instead comply with orders from law enforcement officers, common-sense, self-preservation advice is not mutually inclusive with defending, justifying, rationalizing, nor excusing the death of anyone — which I did not do, nor even come close including Daunte Wright and George Floyd.

Meanwhile, 2021 remains a target-rich environment. For The Bee. And for me, as well.