The Associated Press has a grammatical construction bone to pick with us, my fellow conservatives. And it’s not happy. That’s right, this “derisive” habit we have of incorrectly referring to the Democratic Party as the “Democrat Party” is not only just one more example of our “extreme partisanship,” it’s also “just another piece in a big bubbling kettle of animosities” we harbor as we attempt to make Democrats “sound like rodents.”

Get all that? I’ll wait while you read it again.

No, AP, we call it the “Democrat” Party because we view Democrats as anything but “democratic,” these days. And worse. But we’ll get to that later.

AP “journalist” Julie Carr Smthye’s What’s in an adjective? ‘Democrat Party’ label on the rise is as hilarious as it is whiny, as trots out example after example of “proof” of “conservatives seeking to define the opposition through demeaning language.”

The Republican strategy of misstating the name of the Democratic Party by dropping the i-c can be traced to the McCarthy era and has now become commonplace among conservatives. By @jcarrsmyth https://t.co/5gHD7DgvQL

— The Associated Press (@AP) February 27, 2021

Here’s the first.

Two days before the assault on the U.S. Capitol, Pennsylvania state Sen. Doug Mastriano, a Republican, said supporters of then-President Donald Trump’s claims of election fraud were basically in a “death match [sic] with the Democrat Party.”

And another.

A day later, right-wing activist Alan Hostetter, a staunch Trump supporter known for railing against California’s virus-inspired stay-at-home orders, urged rallygoers in Washington to “put the fear of God in the cowards, the traitors, the RINOs, the communists of the Democrat Party.”

“The shared grammatical construction — incorrect use of the noun “Democrat” as an adjective — was far from the most shocking thing about the two men’s statements,” Smythe melodramatically wrote, “but it identified them as members of the same tribe, conservatives seeking to define the opposition through demeaning language.”

Oh, the humanity! This might be just the first of several times I’ll say this, but does this writer have the slightest clue about the vicious names the left has called Donald Trump and every member of his family for more than four years? Similar names the Democrat Party and its lapdog media have called the Republican Party as a whole? And half of America?

I’m no fan of #whataboutism, but c’mon, lady.

The height of Democrat hypocrisy is matched only by its degree of total lack of self-awareness. This writer, with a straight face, no doubt, is calling out conservatives for “seeking to define” the Democrat Party “through demeaning language.”

“Hitler?” “Nazis?” Trump’s “rise to power” as comparable to “Germany in the 1930s“?

Daily Wire’s Ryan Saavedra nailed it. “The AP is doing public relations for the Democrat Party now, embarrassing.”

The AP is doing public relations for the Democrat Party now, embarrassing https://t.co/lgrpzxDW1C

— Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) February 27, 2021

And then this twisted bit of selective history.

Amid bipartisan calls to dial back extreme partisanship following the insurrection, the intentional misuse of “Democrat” as an adjective remains in nearly universal use among Republicans. Propelled by conservative media, it also has caught on with far-right elements that were energized by the Trump presidency.

Uh-huh, Julie. How well did Biden’s call for “unity” and “a time to heal” age?

The ridiculous impeachment charade 2.0, Biden’s frenetic rush to erase as much of Donald Trump’s presidency — via executive order — as he could, and the recent House passage of the Democrats’ $1.9 Pelosi Payoff Plan, otherwise known as the mostly-pretend COVID relief package, with zero support of Republicans. And you’re moaning about conservatives’ use of “Democrat Party”?

Here’s a perfect example from Breitbart of the “divisiveness” that apparently sets Smythe off. And who better personifies today’s Democrat Party than Stacey Abrams?

“There is a disease of racism that is embedded in the veins of America. There is a disease of bigotry that winds its way throughout how we’ve made our rules and who has access — [plus] sexism, homophobia, this broader construct of xenophobia.”

That’s a complete load of crap, of course. Guess who she blames? And “Democrat Party” is “derisive,” but calling America a bigoted and racist country is not? Sounds legit.

Hating and trashing America is what the Democrat Party is all about https://t.co/8vCpw5yiop

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) February 27, 2021

Smythe admitted that “academics and partisans disagree on the significance of the word play [sic].” “Is it a harmless political tactic intended to annoy Republicans’ opponents?”, she asked, or “a maliciously subtle vilification of one of America’s two major political parties that further divides the nation?”

I’ll go with “a”  for $500, Alex — but if Smythe and her brethren have their hypocritical panties in a wad more along the lines of “b,” even better. Vanessa Beasley, an associate professor of communications at Vanderbilt University, is one of those people; she says “short-hand descriptions” of people or groups is a way to “dehumanize them.”

“The idea is to strip it down to that noun and make it into this blur, so that you can say that these are bad people — and ‘my party, the people who are using the term, are going to be the upholders of democracy.'”

“To those who see the discussion as an exercise in political correctness, Susan Benesch, executive director of the Dangerous Speech Project, said to look deeper,” Smythe wrote.

“It’s just two little letters — i and c — added to the end of a word, right? But the small difference in the two terms, linguistically or grammatically, does not protect against a large difference in meaning and impact of the language.”

Smythe rambled on and on, hundreds of words, quoting conservative after conservative using the horrific term “Democrat Party.” Donald Trump was one of them.

“You know I always say Democrat. You know why? Because it sounds worse. Democrat sounds lousy, but you know what? That’s actually their name, the Democrat Party. Right? The Democrat Party. So I always say Democrat.”

Where was Trump wrong? “Democrat Party.” Comprised of “Democrats.” As in “Republican Party, comprised of “Republicans.”

Au contraire, says political scientist Michael Cornfield, an associate professor at George Washington University, making this whole thing even more ridiculous.

“Democrats don’t have a comparable insult for ‘Republicans,'” argues Cornfield. Uh-huh. Sure they don’t. That is unless “Nazis,” “racists,” “white supremacists,” “homophobes,” “transphobes,” “Islamophobes,” “xenophobes,” “misogynists,” and worse qualify as “insults.” No matter, the absent-minded professor then went full-metal stand-up comic.

“‘Republic’ — without the ‘a-n’ — isn’t derogatory. It’s known as a ‘God word‘ in American politics, just as small-d ‘democratic’ is, meaning a revered cultural concept that’s universally understood.

“The truncated ‘Democrat,’ on the other hand, ‘rhymes with rat, bureaucrat, kleptocrat, plutocrat. ‘Crats’ are bad. So you can see why they do it.”

Can’t make it up. Don’t have to.

And finally, Smythe quoted David Pepper, a former Ohio Democrat Party chairman, who believes Republicans’ phrasing has “clearly been thought about.” Even so, he said, “I don’t see trying to erase it as a good use of Democrats’ time as the party seeks to reset the national agenda after four years of Trump.” Ah, but he’s obviously bothered by it.

“While President Joe Biden has pledged national unity” (ROFLMAO) he said, “the other side is literally trying to make the other party sound like rodents.” “To me,” Pepper said, “that’s absurd and disturbing at the same time.”

To me, Dr. Mr. Pepper, your silly nonsense is absurd in its hypocrisy, though not disturbing in the least. On the contrary, it’s hilarious as hell. And of course, it’s intended to demean Democrats. Know why? You and your brethren have earned every minute of it.

And Julie Carr Smythe? I await with bated breath your next Pulitzer-worthy article. Perhaps you should make a case for renaming the Associated Press the Democrat Associated Press and just get it over with. After all, accuracy is journalism’s best friend, you know.