Monday morning started like any other Monday for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. Deputies went to work or went home after working the night shift. However, for four employees, their Monday started as the last day they would ever see, and the last day their families would ever see them alive. A sheriff's commander, two deputy sheriffs, and a sheriff's custody assistant all decided to end their lives by suicide. The department family has been trying to heal themselves after losing Deputy Ryan Clinkunbroomer in an ambush execution on September 18. And a month and a half later, they're reeling back in sorrow after losing another four family members, but this time to suicide. After Monday's tragic events, Tuesday brought yet another tragedy when another deputy attempted to take their own life. Thankfully they were not successful, and hopefully, their family can help the deputy recover and heal from the attempt.
Everyone, including myself, is asking questions as to why they would do this, what they were thinking, and what was going on in their lives to bring them to the edge of the cliff and prompt them to jump. The custody assistant (which is the county's version of a state correctional officer who works in the county jails), in particular, had 33 years of service to the county and was 60 years old when she ended her life. In a message sent out before her death, she stated, "This is what burnout feels like. I think I'm done." As for the commander and the other two deputies, it is unknown as to their reasonings or motivations, but there is a general consensus in the department that morale is at an all-time low.
Robert Luna was elected as the sheriff of Los Angeles County in November of last year, defeating incumbent Sheriff Alex Villanueva. Luna, himself the former Long Beach police chief, ran on a reform platform. He promised to rid the department of corruption and to bring the department back to good standing in the community. However, Luna has made a reputation in the department as somebody who will fire somebody first and ask questions last. Speaking with several deputies, all with 15 years of service or more, they all say the same thing: They are being hunted by Luna and the command staff. What were once minor infractions are now Internal Affairs investigations that start with people being relieved of duty. Discipline is handed out like free drinks at an open bar on New Year's Eve. The deputies are more afraid of their own department and leadership than they are of violent criminals who would love nothing more than to kill them.
In two fairly recent cases in Lancaster and Palmdale, in the Antelope Valley, deputies were relieved of duty by Luna after two separate instances involving the use of force by the deputies on suspects. In Lancaster, a deputy was relieved, along with their captain, after the deputy was seen on video tackling a female suspect to the ground during an arrest related to a robbery call. The video went viral that day, and the community outrage was intense and immediate. Before the dust even settled, Luna released his statement of the video being "disturbing." He then relieved the deputy the next day, even with the full knowledge that the female suspect, along with her fellow male suspect, were involved in a robbery that ended with the female assaulting a store security guard before leaving the store. Luna knew all of this and knew the store security camera caught the incident on tape, and it was in the possession of the department. Even knowing that the female suspect was identified as one of the robbery suspects, was actively resisting her arrest, and the force used was completely within policy, he punished them anyway.
In the Palmdale incident, a deputy was seen on a body cam punching a woman, holding her baby, in the face during her arrest. The female was being arrested for DUI, along with child endangerment, due to the child not being secured in a car seat — rather, the child was in the lap of the front passenger (who was the baby's father), who was also drunk and passed out in the passenger seat. When the female exited the vehicle, she grabbed her child and began to resist attempts to detain her. The deputy in question saw that the baby was crying in pain because the woman was squeezing her leg to the point where the deputy thought it was going to break. This event happened just over a year ago, before Luna was sheriff, and was investigated by both the Internal Affairs and Internal Criminal Affairs Bureaus, along with the DA's office. The investigations all resulted in the finding that it was within policy and the force used was correct and aligned with their use of force policy as well. Furthermore, the DA's office refused to file charges against the deputy due to no evidence supporting a charge of assault. The body camera footage, however, wasn't released until just after the Lancaster incident, with Luna as the current sheriff. Luna, acting off of more misguided community outrage, immediately fired that deputy.
As I wrote in my Humanizing the Badge Series 1 and number 2, the levels of stress and chaos that deputies — and police officers in general across the country — all deal with is staggering. Day in and day out, night in and night out, these men and women do and see things that make an impression on them that lasts a lifetime.
After years, especially after full careers of these experiences, we become jaded to reality; our humor becomes dark, and people don't know how to take it. Sometimes we don't joke at all, because we don't want to chance alienating our friends and family. Because who the hell else are we going to lean on? My wife still gets uncomfortable sometimes when I'm seemingly callous when I hear about deaths in the family or friends, or even watching the news and seeing people dead from natural disasters or other events. My outer reaction to those events are still something like: "Well, that sucks to be them." We do this as a defense or coping mechanism, so we can function without completely losing it.
We bury it all deep inside because we have to be strong to protect the weak. That isn't an insult, but the truth. Society looks to us to solve all their problems and take the bad guy or girl to jail.
I can still remember the time when I received a report call for sexual assault of a child. All I had to do was take down the info about the case, collect evidence if there was anything, and write a report. Sounds pretty simple, right? It isn't, and here is why. I was met by a 10-year-old little girl with her mother outside her house. She was old enough to know what happened but still young enough not to be aware that what happened to her was wrong. I had to hear her story three times to get it all right. She detailed several times where her uncle repeatedly groped, kissed, and raped her over the course of two years. She gave me all the disgusting details, and I had to write them all down. I won't give them to you here, but it still makes my hands shake in anger about how the hell an adult, especially a family member, could do that to a child. That was one of many crimes against children that I had to handle. Imagine how the detectives at our Special Victims Bureau feel when they deal with this every day. I have several friends in that unit, and I can say here and now, I could never do that job. I would lose all my soul and humanity having to investigate those crimes.
It is all the above and so much more that possibly drive the men and women in uniform to end their lives. It is the silent killer, PTSD, mental and physical trauma, the stress and anxiety of working for a man who has privately bragged about how many people he has fired. The deputies that I speak to are beyond exhausted, physically and mentally. A very close friend of mine told me he was thinking of quitting because he is forced to work two to three double (16 hours) shifts a week, sometimes more, and he barely gets to see his wife and kids because he just doesn't have the energy, he is burnt out. He has marital problems because his wife and kids don't get to see him enough. And when they do, he is distant or just too tired to do anything with them. Imagine having your boss after you, the public hating you, criminals trying to hurt or kill you, and being too tired to react to a threat at work that you might get killed or injured. Imagine that being your everyday life. Imagine the amount of stress and anxiety that causes to you and your family.
PTSD, stress, and anxiety are silent killers, and I know. We have a warrior mentality or mindset. We have to be strong and brave so people can depend on us to be there for them. We cannot look or be seen as weak. And that weighs so heavy on us that sometimes it kills us. The next time you see a cop, think about what you have read here before you judge or criticize them. And if you are one of the hundreds of thousands of police officers in this country and you are reading this, you are not alone. There are places to go that can help. I will help you as best I can. Just send an email to RedState and ask for me, and I will be there for you.
Here are some resources for you. Do not let your demons win the day. Know that there are countless Americans here who will do anything they can to help you:
Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call 988. It's a 24/7 operation
