The Theater of the Absurd -- Starring 'The Democrats'

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

We live in a simulation. Or maybe just a bad stage play.

Regardless of how we want to characterize our current political times, the sad truth is that very little of what we see from our politicians in the news is rooted in sincerity. All of this has become the theater of the absurd and the Democrat Party seems to be center stage.

There are costumes. From kente cloth stunts to women in white, the costuming has become a vital part of the plot. There is no depth to it. Like in real theater (the kind that actually entertains you) the costumes are just another character element. A character in red indicates a vixen or a villain. Likewise, a Democrat in white is meant to indicate solidarity against oppression. A character in purple will almost always represent some kind of nobility. A Democrat in a kente cloth is meant to signal their righteous nobility. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous they look, it only matters that you, the audience, accept their noble intentions as genuine. Even masks have become a costume.

There are scripts. I worked very, very briefly in telesales as a financially desperate college student. I don’t even remember what I was supposed to be selling but I do remember I had a script. It had a retort for every “excuse” a potential customer would give me for why they couldn’t invest that day.

“I can’t afford to do this right now.”

“But can you really afford not to do this right now?”

“I’m really not interested.”

“What might make this more interesting to you?”

“I resent this phone call?”

“We wouldn’t be reaching out if we didn’t think this was something that could benefit you.”

The list went on and on. The idea from a marketing standpoint is to have a quick response to any perceived pushback and to keep the person talking. Democrats use this same scripting idea in their marketing, except their ultimate goal is to stop the other person from talking. Their script is perfected and repetitious and goes something like this:

“I think eliminating the filibuster could be dangerous for Democrats if/when Republicans regain control of Congress.”

“The filibuster is racist.”

“I think if you need an id to buy a beer you should need an id to vote.”

“Voter id is racist.”

“I think being on time for work appointments and taking the time of others seriously is an important part of career success.”

“Being on time is racist.”

“I think…”


There are sets. AOC’s favorite set was a chainlink fence near the border. This winter, the Democrat Party added some fancy new set pieces to their main stage in the form of a fence around the Capitol. We can’t have a fence at the border, but a fence around the house of The American People is necessary in case another 150 people wearing funny hats come storming in one day. It’s the perfect excuse for the perfect set-piece. Of course, we can’t forget one of the most glaring set pieces of the last few months, the cages that are holding children at the border. Democrats have deliberately staged “humane” living conditions to avoid the ire of their media allies and base after four years of “Trump put kids in cages because he is Orange Man Bad” attacks. When they took over the stage production, they realized it was all harder than it looked, so they did what any good production does — they added new paints, bells, and whistles and called it progress. Fake it til ya make it!

There are villains. Like any good stage play, you need an antagonist. Luckily for Democrats, once you have the power of conventional media on your side you can make a villain out of anyone if you tell the story right. There are the villains who want to protect their Second Amendment civil rights. There are villains who want to open their businesses and send their kids to school. There are villains who want leaders held accountable for their hypocrisy. There are villains who refuse to wear masks, two masks, three masks, and those ridiculous personal “bubble” hats you see advertised on Facebook. Bad, bad people who recklessly murder grandmas and teachers with their shopping and traveling and normal human activity.

There are heroes. Their heroes are bureaucratic doctors who haven’t practiced medicine in decades. The weapons belonging to those heroes are masks and lectures. They are exalted far above the viewer. On stage they sit in an ivory tower, surrounded by all the luxuries of modern life, their family and friends. While they have every need and desire provided for, they sit in judgment of the villains who want to selfishly open their restaurants and see their dying loved ones in the hospital. In this stage play, anyone can be a hero. All you have to do is tell people what to do and what to sacrifice without making any sacrifices of your own.

There are tickets. Vaccine passport, anyone?

There is an audience. The ravenous consumers of headline media are a dutiful audience. They applaud when told, throw roses at their adored stage players at the end of every performance. They don’t care to see what happens behind the curtain. They can’t get enough of the daily show, because it is entertainment that requires nothing of them but complete adoration.