Nobel Prizes are being awarded this week. Nobel Prizes are very serious and they are only given to very serious people. People like Barrack Obama for….being elected. Very serious.
In the interest of extending the Prize committee’s tradition begun with Obama, we’ve awarded our own Nobel Prizes in each category. We don’t actually have any awards or money to give and there’s no Redstate ceremony. We don’t even own the name but this is the internet, so we don’t care.
Here are the 2016 winners for the “Redstate Curated Nobel Prize”.
The Nobel Prize for Medicine – Makers of the Mylan EpiPen
…for adopting a price-hike of epic proportions, sending the nation into fits out outrage. Heather Bresch -the CEO of Mylan and the daughter of Democrat senator Joe Munchin- skillfully illustrated the disgusting consequences of combining government overreach with crony capitalism when she pocketed a 671% pay raise in the midst of the shocking price gouge. This greedy CEO did more to expose what happens when government gets involved in private enterprise then any one person in the last decade.
The Nobel Prize for Physics – Hillary Clinton
…for inventing an apparatus that helps her defy the laws of gravity to climb stairs.
The Nobel Prize for Economic Sciences – Barrack Obama
…for Obamacare, an ingenious plan to exert government control over 1/4th of the economy whilst telling Americans their insurance premiums will be lower and their they can keep the doctors they like. Pssssyychhh!
The Nobel Prize for Literature – Colin Powell
…for his hacked emails and introducing the world to the term “dicking bimbos”
The Nobel Prize for Chemistry – Planned Parenthood
…for their ground-breaking cocktail of baby parts and government funding.
The Nobel Prize for Peace –
Hillary Clinton was poised to become a double-victor with this category for her notable work in Benghazi. However this year’s prize will be awarded to the Religion of Peace
…for their tireless efforts in San Bernardino, Paris, Orlando, Minnesota, Paris again, New York, Paris again and the majority of the Middle East.
Please join us in congratulating this stellar field of winners hand-picked by the Obama administration and low-information voters.