Not like “illegal aliens” in reference to those crossing our southern border illegally, but aliens as in life on Mars.

(Definitely an alien, by the way.)

In one corner, we have Demi Lovato, the (occasionally) binary pop star, saying that calling extraterrestrial beings “aliens” is derogatory and offensive.

“I do not have a song called ‘Aliens,'” the star clarified before adding that “it sounds cool.” However, if Demi were to have a song about creatures existing beyond Earth, the tune would likely have a different title.

“My fans should know that I do not call them aliens,” the “Cool for the Summer” vocalist continued. “Because ‘alien’ is a derogatory term for anything, even extraterrestrials, which is why I call them ETs.”

[…]

During an exclusive interview last month with E! News’ Daily Pop, Demi recounted their first encounter with extraterrestrials. The alleged incident took place on a trip to Joshua Tree, Calif., where they remembered seeing a “blue orb that was about 50 feet away” and floating above the ground.

“It was a beautiful and incredible experience,” Demi added at the time.

Before I continue, I have to admit to you that I know full-well some of you aren’t going to care too much about this topic. “Joseph,” some of you are muttering while shaking your heads, “Who cares?” And I agreed with that point of view yesterday when this story came out. But I have had a change of heart because, as someone pointed out to me, this is someone our kids look up to. You need to know, in case your teen starts claiming to have sexual relationships with ghosts.

So, when Demi Lovato says we can’t use the word “alien” to describe a possible being from a different planet (like Hollywood), we can’t just ignore that because the pop culture of the moment will shift when weird celebrities do and say weird things.

Fortunately, in our hour of need, there is only one man who can set the record straight on matters of literally universal importance, and that man is Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Tyson told TMZ: “All the aliens that I’ve ever met, they have no feelings.” He did say that Lovato was just being “considerate,” but he also wondered why they were “worried about offending them by calling them an alien.” He insisted we don’t know what “is going on in the head of species of life from another planet.”

Tyson added: “When I refer to aliens — just to be specific — I always say ‘space aliens’. And then, what we used to call aliens on Earth — undocumented immigrants, that’s what the new term is for them, and I’m all in on that. … So what that means is — if we all do that — the only invocation of the word ‘alien’ is for creatures from outer space that want to kill us all.”

So there you have it, folks. Aliens have no feelings, and when they hear Tyson’s talking that level of smack about them, they’re going to come by and prove it. With space lasers. Because they probably do have feelings, and he has just hurt them in his absolute arrogance.

Of course aliens exist. They’ve been trolling our military for years (which our media was a little too quick to move away from). They have feelings because they have a sense of humor and apparently feel a sense of joy buzzing us primitives in their advanced vehicles. They won’t take too kindly to essentially being called heartless shells by someone with as massive an ego as Tyson has.

When they get offended, our last hope is that Washington, D.C. City Councilman Trayon White is correct and the Jews have their weather-controlling satellite ready to protect us.