GLOVES ARE OFF: Donald Trump Says Hillary Clinton Will Be A "Very Poor" President

Donald Trump shows the crowd how small his hands are.

Donald Trump gave his victory speech after his big win in Indiana tonight, and it was actually fairly coherent up until the end, where he mentioned the War on Christmas, among other thing. It was actually a very leader-ly speech, in which he gave thanks, hit his high points, acknowledged Ted Cruz’s announcement from earlier tonight, and moved on. That, however, is about as much of a compliment as I can give Trump, because while he sounded presidential, his actual words, which do still mean things, make no sense.

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The first thing he did was promise to be tough on Hillary Clinton starting now. His very first shot fired in her direction? “She will be a very poor president.” It was very inspiring

Trump’s nearly 20-point win over Cruz, and the latter’s subsequent campaign suspension, also gave the billionaire the opportunity to compliment the Texas Senator. “Let me tell you, Ted Cruz, I don’t know if he likes me or doesn’t like me, but he is one hell of a competitor,” he said. “He’s got an amazing future ahead of him.”

After paying lip service to those who sold their souls to support him (like Chris Christie and Ben Carson), Trump began with his usual talking points (we will be strong on immigration, trade, getting black people jobs, etc.), before realizing he hasn’t been able to thank Reince Priebus for doing an amazing job – yes friends, those were his words – and then spent some time talking about all the Republicans who called him up and wanted to join the “Trump Train.” He also, for reasons that escape me, told his fans that we would be able to say “Merry Christmas” again, because the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year, y’all.

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Surprisingly, Trump did not thank Fox News, who has contributed the most free press of any cable news network out there. I hope Sean Hannity wasn’t too put out by that.

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