I’ll admit that I’m one of those Americans that Dick Cheney frightens. I also agree with comedian Christian Finnigan that he looks like the Penguin from the old Adam West Batman series (which is a delightful comparison and series overall). Still, while he may scare me, I fail to see what exactly he’s done that the New York Times editorial board would call for his prosecution over. Via Dylan Byers at POLITICO:

“But any credible investigation should include former Vice President Dick Cheney; Mr. Cheney’s chief of staff, David Addington; the former C.I.A. director George Tenet; and John Yoo and Jay Bybee, the Office of Legal Counsel lawyers who drafted what became known as the torture memos,” the board continued. “There are many more names that could be considered, including Jose Rodriguez Jr., the C.I.A. official who ordered the destruction of the videotapes; the psychologists who devised the torture regimen; and the C.I.A. employees who carried out that regimen.”

The calls from the Times and the ACLU and HRW come after the recent release of the Senate Intelligence Committee report on U.S. torture practices, including a 524-page executive summary that detailed grotesque interrogation tactics, including waterboarding, hanging by the wrists, death threats, confinement in coffins and “rectal feeding.”

First of all, I can’t be the only person who sees the phrase “rectal feeding” and think first of a South Park episode, but I digress. Actually, I’m not sure it’s all that big a digression, considering this editorial is a parody in and of itself. The editorial board at the New York Times feels strongly enough about a partisan, largely unconfirmed, and completely pointless Senate Intelligence Committee report on “torture” of military combatants who condone, if not actively participate in, the murder of non-combatants (specifically women and children) that they would, weeks after the report was released, publish an op-ed about it in their paper.

Consider that the report was political theater to distract the public from the Jonathan Gruber testimony (which, admittedly, was political theater to distract conservatives from the full funding of Obama’s executive amnesty). Consider, too, that the New York Times has had weeks to come up with an editorial on this. Why publish it today, rather than, say, a few days after it came out. Hell, I strung together these thoughts in about fifteen minutes after reading Byers’ piece on this.

Well, as Byers points out, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and Human Rights Watch (HRW) begin their “investigation” into the practices of the United States on military combatants/terrorists. The naming of Dick Cheney goes to the lead-in paragraph of this post – Dick Cheney is still the evil, no-good boogeyman of the Left and, by God, let’s do whatever we can to make sure he goes down in history as a monster.

Allow me to close, however, with a happier thought: When Dick Cheney took office, there were concerns over his health, which the media loved to report on (weird how much they reported on his heart condition while simultaneously saying he didn’t have a heart). As time went on, not only did he survive some issues, he seemed to thrive. If you or your family have a history of heart problems, ask your doctor if liberal tears are right for you.