Years ago, Dan Aykroyd appeared on "Larry King Live." The subject (besides Aykroyd being a lunatic) was "Outer Space" and illegal aliens invading our land. The latter refers to space aliens, not the dudes filling bags of weed for Hollywood actors.
Anyway, I remembered that show because Dan Aykroyd is a bit of a nut. Ok - he's a lot of a nut. He's a funny guy, but off his rocker. I bet Aykroyd playing a Conehead was as natural as Audie Murphy playing himself. Dan thinks he has "the dope" on what aliens think. And, he must know the answer to that ultimate mystery... will aliens eat us, or eat with us? His appearance was so wacky it was like watching a car wreck. I couldn't take my eyes off Dan doing his act. This morning, I looked it up on YouTube. Yup, it was as wacky as I remembered it. Like space, the internet is forever.
Aykroyd said aliens might be really mad at us because “after 9-11... when we broke our toys in the sandbox...if they were observing us, goodbye human race”. I didn't know what "toys in the sandbox" he was talking about. I still don't. But it must be really deep stuff. Actors are known for deep thinking. Right? Dan had a foreboding look on his face, something like you might get when you wake up in a spaceship to see green, bug-eyed aliens with three fingers staring at you. Maybe they are holding something, a cattle prod. Why do they have cattle prods?
Dan apparently thinks 9-11 really cheesed off the aliens. He thinks the 23 species have either written us off or put us on the dinner menu. Oh, okay, Dan. Fortunately, the aliens were/are apparently on a collective family vacation. What happened to their alien moral outrage during WWI, Lenin's purges, the Stalinist purges, WWII, and Mao’s reign of terror? Why he thinks 9-11 bugged aliens more than those events is beyond me. 100 million human lives extinguished in the span of 60 years. No Klaatu and Gort? The mid-20th century seems like it would be slightly more revolting to me than 9-11 if I were an alien species, but then again, I’ve never played the lead in Coneheads.
Perhaps Dan was right. I've seen the technology aliens possessed during the mid-20th century. They flew around in silver rocketships that looked like dinner plates suspended on wires, so maybe one of the wires broke, and they called off the invasion. That all changed with warp drive and wormholes. Aliens would be able to probe us at will. In movies. However, if aliens are anything like James Cameron's latest vision, they are no threat. Cameron's aliens new aliens are stuck on a moon, and fly around on giant lizard-birds connected by coaxial cables and shoot arrows at humans in giant war machines. They would only get mad at us if we invaded their world, not the other way around.
Hulu has a new series about Aliens and Predators coming to Earth. I can only guess what it will be about. I'm not paying for another subscription.
James Cameron is making a fortune off remaking “Dances with Wolves.” Come on. It’s a rip-off of Westerns, and everyone knows it. From his “Blue” Indians to the Native American dialogue. It’s just a Western in space with CGI. John Ford did it better.
If we ever go star-trekking, I hope we don't have a stereotypical merc-in-charge like Cameron’s dude. Colonel "ConstantlyMad" is a blue Smurf killer with a NASCAR fan accent and a Jurassic Park-like scar across his head. In James Cameron's vision of space exploration, Earthers are terrible. We are the baddies. But apparently, The Wizard of Oz is still quotable 150 years from now – with lines like: “You’re not in Kansas anymore."
I just watched “Forbidden Planet." The movie apparently started the Sci-Fi ball, according to Wikipedia. It apparently influenced Gene Roddenberry. The Enterprise’s “NCC 1701” comes from Forbidden Planet’s clock that read “17:01”. But that movie was five years after “The Day the Earth Stood Still”. That is one of my favorite movies, and a far superior plot to “Forbidden Planet.” The 2008 remake is garbage, by the way.
I do enjoy a good science fiction ride, but it’s all fiction. No, I don’t believe aliens from space have ever visited the planet and cattle-prodded anyone or done crop circles and then left. I wish they were real. I have some suggestions for cattle-prodding. Most politicians need a good probing, and some social media influencers with "D" after their names.
One can dream.
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