CODE RED: Live From the Fake White House

If the current president (and whoever is actually pulling the strings) wasn’t tanking the country this administration could be a comedy script.

As Biden wakes up every morning wondering where he is. Joe might open his eyes and wonder why he’s in Obama’s bed. Before he has time to wonder,


President Jill hands Joe a sheet of laminated paper she gives him each morning:

“Good Morning Joe, you are the president! I know, right?

Let’s get to work!”

Next, she hands Joe a Pictionary book with photos and simple words that mirror the Presidential Briefing Book. It’s a brief, of a brief so Joe can get “up to speed”. He’ll keep a tiny version in his pocket in case he goes off-script and his handlers can’t stop him before he yammers at a flock of reporters.

Morning Meds.

After breakfast, Joe is dressed and lead to the fake White House. Joe is dolled up for the cameras.  Hair plugs are straightened. The director points to the teleprompters and Joe starts to read. He’s not so good at reading lines now, but Psaki will clean up JoeSpeak later with an “official interpretation” of what Joe meant.

Afternoon nap time.

The day is wrapped with a hot glass of milk and President Jill tucking Joe in.

I’m hoping that a hero emerges at the Fake White House set. Like Anchorman – “Ron Burgundy will read anything. I mean, any-thing”. Joe will read anything. Our hero will add one line of truth to Joe’s rolling script.

“…And from the Fake White House, I’m Joe Biden, Go F*** Yourself America”.

America would have its hero.  GO BRANDON.


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