CODE RED COMICS: Bewitched

Michael Avenatti spent most of 2018 appearing on CNN and MSNBC. Both networks fan-girled over Avenatti as a deserving candidate for president.  That house of cards came crashing down after it was revealed that he was under federal investigation, and soon indicted.


In one scheme, he tried to extort millions from Nike. It didn’t work out. Avenatti will be sentenced on June 30th on that case, but there are two more federal criminal matters pending. If you’re interested in how many people Avenatti is alleged to have harmed, read the California State Bar Complaint. Avenatti is a bad man. He is a very bad man. No wonder CNN loved him.

Avenatti is back in the news because the second of federal criminal cases is in the pre-trial motions stage. That one involves embezzling money from Stephanie Clifford. Clifford’s stage name is Stormy Daniels. Can someone tell me why she picked that name? If you’re going to use Stormy as a first name, why Daniels as a last name? Why not Stormy Knight, or Stormy Sees? You can’t get more creative than Daniels?

Apparently Stormy’s career in porn is on the wane. After you’ve done The Donald, where is there to go? Witchcraft, of course.

In Avenatti’s reply in support of his pre-trial motions, Avenatti points out that the government’s star witness (Stormy’s back to being a star) is a witch. Stormy doesn’t deny that she’s a witch – in fact she revels in it. She promotes herself as “Spooky Babes Paranormal Show.” Stormy’s got the “sixth sense.” She can see dead people. If she can, I’d like her to conjure up the Clinton “suicides.” Stormy thinks being a witch is totes normal and recently mocked Avenatti for mocking her psychic career. So, a convicted felon is calling a witch “not credible.” This should be fun.

I never tried a case with a witch as a witness. It would be hoot to cross-examine a witch. Why object to her testimony? Put her on the stand, and get to the point.

Questions for Stormy. (Can I call you Stormy?) “If you’re psychic, why did you hire Avenatti —  didn’t you know he would steal from you?”

Stormy then pulls a voodoo doll from her cleavage, and waves it.

“I object, your honor, I strenuously object!”