Guess What Nanny-State Hero Chuck Schumer Wants to Ban Next

Senator Chuck Schumer, fresh off his heroic campaign to defend America from brightly colored detergent pods, is now targeting another threat to the Republic. Flavor.

It’s not too surprising that someone as stale and bitter as Schumer would be anti-flavor, but make no mistake, as with most idiotic Democrat efforts, Chuck is doing it for the children. 

Sen. Charles Schumer says the Food and Drug Administration should immediately ban e-cigarette flavors such as candy and cookies that can appeal to young people in the wake of warnings that teens and children are increasingly using e-cigarettes. (emphasis added)

The New York Democrat on Sunday released a letter to FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb saying the agency had the legal authority to regulate e-cigarette flavors, and encouraging it to do so.

I expect Chucky will probably be proposing alternative flavors that only appeal to adults whatever those may be. Brussel sprouts? Strong black coffee? Plain yogurt? Or how about fish? I’m sure salted cod flavored e-cigs would be a big seller.

Assuming Schumer isn’t keen on underage kids also developing alcohol habits, I wonder if he’ll also propose banning virtually every trendy cocktail ever invented. If you want alcohol, you can choose between an astringently peated Scotch whisky or 100 proof vodka straight from the bottle. Ice cubes will be permitted for those with the appropriate paperwork but those appletinis and strawberry margaritas are breeding a generation of underaged alcoholics and Washington has to do something about it.

Schumer praised steps the FDA has taken, including issuing warning letters last week to 13 manufacturers, distributors and sellers over marketing that has e-cigarette products looking like juice boxes and candies, but wants to see more.

Of course he wants to see more. Guys like Schumer aren’t happy unless they’re banning people from doing anything (so long as it’s not getting gay married or getting an abortion).

The federal government is not supposed to be anyone’s mommy or daddy. Let kids’ actual parents protect them from the evils of nicotine, while you mind your own business, Senator Schumer.