'Performance Artist' Alex Jones Loses Primary Custody of his Children

I guess the jury didn’t buy the story about Alex Jones only being a performance artist and his lunatic conspiracy theorist persona only being a character he plays. That was the defense they mounted in the dispute with his ex-wife over the custody of their three children. He lost.

Conspiracy theorist and media personality Alex Jones suffered a defeat in a legal battle with his ex-wife that ended with a jury stripping him of the primary custody of his children.

After nearly 10 hours of deliberation, a Texas jury ruled the couple will receive joint custody and granted Kelly Jones — the former spouse of the right-wing media personality — the right to decide with whom their three children will live, the Austin American-Statesmen reported. The verdict also means Alex Jones will have visitation rights with his three children, who have lived with him since the couple’s divorce in 2015.

In closing arguments, Kelly Jones’ attorney, Robert Hoffman, told jurors the conservative broadcaster was a “cult leader” who was turning the children — ages 9, 12, and 14 — against their mother.

He also described his client’s marriage as “emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive,” according to the newspaper.

Alex Jones responded by pointing out that the entire jury was made up of shape shifting reptilian trilateralists and the presiding judge is a member of the Illuminati and a key figure in the plot to use chemtrails to turn all the frogs gay. Actually I made all that up, but you almost believed me for a second, didn’t you?

“I am so grateful to God that he has kept me and my family strong through this,” Kelly Jones said after the verdict. “I just pray that from what’s happened with my family people can really understand what parental alienation is and get an awareness of it and we can stop this from happening in the future.”

Kelly added she’s interested in penning a book on the topic.

Naturally.