Newt Gingrich Humiliated as Trump Recommits to Hackneyed Swamp Metaphor

Yesterday it was widely reported that former Speaker of the House and Donald Trump throne sniffer Newt Gingrich told the world that the era of swamp draining is over. Apparently Gingrich didn’t run that announcement by the President-elect before going national with it though.

That’s according to Newt Gingrich, a top ally who told NPR in an interview that aired Wednesday morning that he was instructed not to use the phrase anymore because it has fallen out of favor with Trump.

“I’m told he now just disclaims that,” Gingrich said on “Morning Edition.” “He now says it was cute, but he doesn’t want to use it anymore.”

Gingrich said he had “written what I thought was a very cute tweet about ‘the alligators are complaining,'” but that “somebody wrote back and said they were tired of hearing this stuff.”

Apparently Newt made some assumptions based on pushback he got from the Trump team in response to these tweets.

Even Trump’s former assistant lady-grabber appeared to follow Gingrich’s lead on this.

The President-elect issued a correction to all involved.

“Someone.”

Ha! That’s beautiful. You know who you are. 

“Someone” then tweeted out his rendition of a Taliban hostage video (while Eric Trump presumably stood off camera menacingly slapping a tire iron into his palm).

The alligators should be worried but the lap dogs should consider themselves duly chastened.

Gingrich was reportedly last seen cleaning Trump Tower restrooms with a toothbrush.

All that’s needed to wrap up this ridiculous swamp-troversy is the inevitable Vox headline: “Trump Vows To Destroy Vital Wetlands Ecosystem.”