Here’s one for the “you can’t make this stuff up” file.
In Amherst Junction, Wisconsin, a meeting of the Tomorrow River Conservation Club was disrupted when Christina Ferguson went on a parking lot rampage with a family-size jar of peanut butter. Ferguson had mistaken the meeting for a Donald Trump rally.
According to the complaint, Ferguson entered the meeting, which was being held on the 3900 block of Second St. in Amherst Junction, at about 9:30 PM on Monday, holding a jar of peanut butter and yelling at the club members about how much she hated the presidential candidate.
Ferguson left the meeting after being asked to do so, but after a few minutes one of the members suggested they check the parking lot to “make sure she wasn’t doing anything to their vehicles after leaving.”
As they went outside, one man saw Ferguson spreading peanut butter on a vehicle. He yelled at her, according to the complaint, and watched her walk into a nearby apartment complex. The man then called the Portage Co. Sheriff’s Office.
Ferguson told police how much she loves Hillary Clinton and how much she hates Donald Trump. She claims to have been “terrorized” by Trump supporters. Or maybe they were Jehovah’s Witnesses or Girl Scouts selling cookies—correctly identifying the targets of her wrath does not appear to be Ferguson’s forte.
“Peanut buttering is better than firebombing, and Trump plans on firebombing everybody in other countries,” she said, according to the complaint.
After the deputy explained to her that she’d actually interrupted the meeting of a nonprofit conservation organization, and that it was not a political meeting, she apologized and said she was “just fed up about the entire election.”
A deputy sheriff gave Ferguson a Breathalyzer test and she blew a 0.218. In Wisconsin, operating a vehicle with a blood alcohol level of 0.08 is considered drunk driving.
“Fortunately it wasn’t chunky peanut butter, so vehicles didn’t get scratched,” said Chief Deputy Dan Kontos.
They really dodged a bullet there.