This week’s Cephas Hour looks at relationships, both ongoing and forcibly concluded. Also, there’s an examination of the fallacy where someone proclaims their identity to be a Christian, not a follower of Christ.

You can hear the entire show on its website.

The difference between singlehood and marriage — well, one of the many differences, but let’s not turn this from Cephas Hour to Couples Counseling Hour — isn’t that you stop liking members of the opposite sex. You still do. The change is you actively and aggressively pursue not actively and aggressively pursuing the matter. More specifically, the other person. Why? Because there already is another person, and they’ve got dibs.

Phrasing it in a more severe tone, you never set aside the truth of how you made a promise and took a vow. That doesn’t mean automatic exclusion from having feelings about other people. You are still human. What it does mean is you learn how to accept there will be times when you’re going to take the hit. You’re going to keep it inside. You’re not going to say those words. You’re not going to make that move. It’s as simultaneously simple and multi-faceted as internalizing the roaring waves of what is and what cannot, must not, ever be.

Sometimes it hurts. You don’t think Jesus understands? Do you believe He’s here strictly to condemn and not console? Take it to Him and lay it all out. Be completely honest. Never hesitate to bury your face in Christ’s blood-stained royal garment and cry to Him. Let His nail-scarred hands caress you and remind you of the coming day when He will wipe away all tears from your eyes. That day is indeed coming. In the meantime, we carry on as best we can.

One of the great lessons from the story of David and Bathsheba often overlooked is how David responded when the child he and Bathsheba conceived when they had their affair died. After all of the weeping, praying, and everything else David did before the Lord begging Him to spare the child’s life was answered with a firm “no,“ David got up and returned to work. When asked how he could do this, he said, “The child is dead. What do you want me to do? I’ve got a kingdom to run.“

The lesson we need to learn from this is that the past is the past. We cannot undo it, and we cannot change it. We can learn from it, but constantly hitting the rewind button to drag ourselves back through past events accomplishes nothing. It’s not a question of getting over it, for there are many things in life we do not get over. However, we do need to get through it. Grieve as you will. No one can tell you how to, or how not to, grieve. But there is still work to be done. Get to it. Remember what God told Elijah in the still small voice when Elijah was on the run, crying out to God that Ahab and Jezebel were seeking to kill him? I only slightly paraphrase: “Uh-huh. Here are your marching orders. Get to work.” Which Elijah did. There’s instruction there for those who have ears to hear.

Be wary of the one who waves their faith like a battle flag, especially when we are the one. Be wary, for it becomes far too convenient to wrap oneself in the flag of faith alone rather than the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

It’s all too easy to gloss or skip over all of Christ’s words to the woman caught in adultery: “Than neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.” Very easy to focus on the first sentence as some celestial Get Out Of Jail card. The second sentence gets short shrift.

The moment we say, “I’m a Christian – look at MEEEEE!” we are begging for trouble. Our faith should never be a source of pride. It is an admittance of failure, an acknowledgment that we are sinners saved by grace. Our calling is to be the outstretched, humble, humbled hand to others, guided by the nail-scarred Hand.