An Iowa mom has put together a Christmas week schedule for her family that would make Clark Griswold green with envy – and, undoubtedly, her planned activities will be much more successful than those of the Griswold Family Christmas.

New York-based writer Khalid El Khatib tweeted a screenshot of his mom’s “annual ‘home for the holidays’ email” sent to him and his siblings, noting that it’s “an incredibly thorough, detail-rich look ahead at how it’s possible for me to gain 15 lbs in one week.”

While this mom is incredibly detailed with her activities and food — summer burger night on Tuesday, taco night on Friday — she’s also cognizant of offering options, such as the Wednesday entry:

Wednesday? Travel to Galena in the afternoon; the Hallmark of the Midwest… Galena brewery for late lunch? Or Bread and Vine? Or Dinner Out? Try Pepper Sprout? Or Moracco? Grandma could babysit. Or Cocktails at the Julien; great Old Fashions? Otherwise, diner at home: grilled bourbon glazed Pork tenderloin for dinner with accompaniments.

When your Plan B is grilled bourbon glazed pork tenderloin, it can’t be a bad day.

Mom knows the options to put out there, too. For a fancy dinner, she puts in bold the question, “Is there any interest in a Bourbon tasting?” Desserts are also included, but as one respondent noted, while there’s a question mark after the suggestion of cookies for dessert on Friday, the entry for Culver’s for dessert on Tuesday ends with a “period, full stop.”

After the email was widely shared on Twitter, Khalid returned with the pièce de résistance, a butter board!

This is taking off; my mom will be thrilled. I should note I cut off the part of the email where she asks if she should make a “butter board” and for us to vote on homemade Snickers, blueberry or raspberry cheesecake on Christmas.

I, for one, would like a photo of this butter board with fresh bread.

For those you asking, here is the rest of the absolutely unhinged Christmas Day menu (a day in which I always slip into a food coma and then my mom yells at me for falling asleep and “wasting Christmas”). pic.twitter.com/V0rS2GExRr

— Khalid El Khatib (@kmelkhat) December 12, 2022

Khalid shared the rest of the “absolutely unhinged Christmas day menu, (a day in which I always slip into a food coma and then my mom yells at me for falling asleep and “wasting Christmas”).” Who can blame him?

Tuesday night Khalid returned to Twitter to let all of the people who wanted to know how they could join this celebration know that there are only two ways in:

My mom's Christmas email made it around the world faster than Santa, and now everyone wants to come over. There are two ways in: if you're Ina Garten or by marrying me (my mom and both my sisters are taken).

— Khalid El Khatib (@kmelkhat) December 14, 2022

Merry Christmas, El Khatib family!