#NeverTrumpNeverHillary #NotInMYNameWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

From the “Why We Carry” Files: Another Florida Facemuncher

It’s starting to turn into Night of the Living Dead out there, folks, as we have another face-eating incident reported from Florida. Seems some little loser (no, not Corey Lewandowski, though it wouldn’t have surprised me) just flipped out in the middle of dinner with his folks because food wasn’t coming fast enough.

The face-eating killer, Austin Harrouff, was a seemingly normal frat boy from Florida State, a member of Alpha Delta Pi. He stormed out of a sports bar where he was dining with his parents—allegedly for slow service—and decided to feast on his fellow human beings instead.

I can’t imagine the thought process there.

“This fried onion appetizer is taking too long… maybe I’ll go murder some random people and eat their faces raw.” 

SERIOUSLY. Ain’t no amount of Peace, Love and Kumbaya that’s gonna stop one of these freaks… even well-placed large-caliber handgun rounds aren’t guaranteed. Keep your heads on a swivel out there, folks…

Why We Carry: Hammer Time?

No, M.C., it’s NOT “Hammertime” if you’re confusing another person for a nail, especially if there’s an armed citizen present who CAN “Touch This.”

Peters’ girlfriend told police after he started to attack her with a hammer, his brother stepped in to stop the violent beating. But the woman said Peters turned his aggression and the blunt object on his own brother. That’s when his brother was forced to retrieve his handgun.

News of the Weird

• Keeping with a recent recurring theme of “weird weddings”… Hanging from a bridge 600′ up?!
• We know there are some serious retro-Nintendo fans out there… but carving a Super Mario Bros. maze into your cornfield takes the taco.
• Taxi Driver: official movie of the Sarajevo cabbie profession?

This Week In History

• Sunday, Aug 14: Second Seminole War ends, 1842; Social Security Act and Atlantic Charter signed, respectively 1935 and 1941; Hirohito proclaims Japanese surrender, 1945
• Monday, Aug 15: Panama Canal opens, 1914, Will Rogers & Wiley Post killed in Alaska plane crash, 1935;; The Wizard of Oz premieres, 1939; Nixon ends convertibility of currency to gold, 1971
• Tuesday, Aug 16: Stark routs Redcoats at Bennington, 1777; Klondike old discovered, 1896; Sports Illustrated publishes first issue, 1954
• Wednesday, Aug 17: Fulton launches steamship service on the Hudson River, 1807; Seattle Pike Place Market opens, 1907; first compact discs sold, 1982
• Thursday, Aug 18: 19th Amendment grants women the vote, 1920; Thousand Islands Bridge connects NY and Ontario across the St. Lawrence, 1938; Marines win first major battle in Vietnam, 1965
• Friday, Aug 19: USS Constitution takes HMS Guerriere, 1812; first race at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, 1909; B-25 Mitchell first flies, 1940; US F-14 Tomcats whack Libyan Su-22 Fitters* over Gulf of Sidra, 1981
• Saturday, Aug 20: Battle of Fallen Timbers, 1794; Andrew Johnson declares end of Civil War, 1866; maiden voyage of NS Savannah, first civil nuclear-powered ship, 1962

*NOT a typo! “Fitter” is the NATO reporting name for Sukhoi Su-22 jet fighters

Today’s Birthdays: Frontiersman-soldier-statesman Davy Crockett, 1786; actresses Mae West, 1893 and Maureen O’Hara, 1920; Apollo 13 lead flight director Gene Kranz, 1933; politician Norm Coleman, 1949

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Gratuitous Gun Giveaways

• American Handgunner magazine, for a Sig-Sauer SIG716 DMR  G2 precision rifle package, a Heritage Rough Rider revolver or HK VP40 pistol: http://americanhandgunner.com/giveaway/
• Guns Magazine, for a Rock Island Armory .22TCM 1911 pistol package, EAA polymer 1911 .45 package or Sig-Sauer P320 pistol package: http://gunsmagazine.com/giveaway/
• Davidson’s Gallery of Guns, for a Charter Arms Pitbull 9mm or Pink Lady Undercover Lite .38 Special revolver: https://ggg.galleryofguns.com/
• Aero Precision, for a custom AR15: http://gvwy.io/iygo1xb
• GrabAGun, for a Del-Ton AR15: http://grabagun.com/giveaway

And if one of you characters wins, we want to hear about it in the Watercooler!

Quote of the Day

Better to be silent and thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt.–apocryphal, oft attributed to George H. W. Bush, and words that some people would do well to contemplate living by

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. Now that you’ve sampled these modest offerings (hopefully without having a side of face while you’re at it), it’s your turn to leavesomething in the Comments.

#NoQuarter #TheParty’sOver